update: we're separated now

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
update: we're separated now
2
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 9:51pm
I haven't posted on here for almost 2 weeks. So much has happened! H kept pressuring me for what I was thinking and finally I told him I was thinking I wanted out....for good. He freaked out, crying not angry. He called his mom and told her everything he's done. I had called my Dad the night before and told him everything. We ended up having a big conversation after work and he felt he couldn't come home so he went to his Mom's. He is now staying there and his Mom is setting him up with a doctor and counseling. I have strongly encouraged him to pursue an abuse specific program.

What this means for us? Don't know.... I was suprised how upsetting it was to me too. I spent all of Thursday crying and wondering if this was the right thing. I think the shock is wearing off. I feel like I am back to my old self almost. I also took a new job for alot more money. This definitely will help me feel like I can make it on my own.

He wants us to try to work this out. But it's something he needs to work out not us. I haven't filed for divorce yet but have alerted my attorney that this may happen. I have so much support. I am very lucky!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 12:18am

Well, my goodness you've been busy!

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 7:56am
Thank you for your supportive words! I laughed when you mentioned how his mother is taking care of things for him. That's exactly what I (and my friends) were saying about him. He was even asking me if I knew of an abusers program. I told him no, he'd have to find one. Now, I do know of one and at least how he can find out but this is his issue and he needs to solve it himself. It's time to grow up!

I am just focusing on me for now. I am going to karate and trying to get myself back to where I once was physically. I am continuing to go to my counselor and the DV support group. It's all about ME right now!!!! It feels good not to be suffocated by someone else.

If he says one more time, "But I haven't hit you in 6 months!", I am going to scream!! The controlling and criticism is even worse! He doesn't get it and probably never will.

Thanks again!