Venom Vomit

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Venom Vomit
4
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 3:24pm

HG said something in her post to Rebecca about venting, so I figured this would be a good time to break this out again on our board (New Beginnings pulls this out every few months).

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2004
In reply to: cl_blueliner4
Fri, 01-21-2005 - 11:46pm
Hmmm..... sounds like a good idea; embarrassing, but probably will help me feel better once I get it out. I wish I could think of a few things that didn't contain cusswords. Many of the insults included the words "dumb" or "stupid" or "lazy", but the other halves are not appropriate to post. Oh, here's one - he told me that he would never "give" me a baby because I would be such a terrible mother. Plus, he said he would never allow me to carry a child when I am in such bad shape. He told me I was fat all the time - I'm 5'5" and 140 - but he was calling me fat when I weighed 125; maybe I'm a little chubby around the middle, but come on! He would complain about how lazy I was because I didn't get a job when I got out of the Navy in September- hello...I got involuntarily separated for Major Depressive Disorder and my knees are ruined, I don't have a college education yet and I can't stand/walk for more than 20 minutes or carry anything heavier than 20 or 30 pounds, plus he wouldn't allow me to work for a man or in a job where I worked with or was around men - so what kind of job was I supposed to get? He would tell me what I terrible wife I was if I didn't cook something fantastic for him whenever he was hungry and have the apartment cleaned (including dusting, cleaning all the dishes and vacuuming) every day or if I folded his laundry wrong. If I came up with a suggestion for something, he would tell me I was stupid and it was a dumb idea - but a day or two later he would say the exact same thing and think it was the best idea he ever had and insist that I'd never suggested anything about it. He would yell at me for stupid stuff - like me wanting to go to the store and rent a movie so we could watch it when he got home from work (he said that I only wanted to go alone so that I could meet a new guy and sleep with him while my H was at sea) and then demand that I apologize for "pushing his buttons" and tell me that I needed to learn to not make him mad. He would ask me to do some really sick stuff in the bedroom and when I said no, he would tell me what a sl** and wh*** I was and how he couldn't even look at me without wanting to vomit anyways. He was raised Pentecostal and expected me to convert and follow every rule, but he wanted to still be able to do things they forbid (drinking, going to movie theaters, watching cable TV). He got royally pissed one time when I had my split ends trimmed and some very subtle layers put in my hair - he said that a woman was NEVER to cut or dye her hair in any way. I swear he thought that the marriage certificate was his proof of ownership. He really and truly thought that I was supposed to obey him whenever he wanted anything. That's it for now....certainly enough for one post anyways. Thanks for being here and letting me vent about some of the ridiculous things I put up with. On the upside - I know exactly what NOT to do and what not to put up with in the future :-) If a man doesn't like me the way I am - he can find somebody else.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: cl_blueliner4
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 1:07am

Let's see now...


"God, can't you take a joke?"


"But I'm cuuuuuuuuuuuuuute!" (usually when he was being especially immature, complete with removal of his wedding ring and holding it over his head like a halo)


"Hey, when you married me you married my butt."

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
In reply to: cl_blueliner4
Sat, 01-22-2005 - 2:31am

Let's see, I blocked out a lot of it....

'You are a &%$^&& iceberg!' (when I didn't want to do unnatural things in the bedroom or - wow - surprisingly didn't feel like being cuddly and all praising of him after all the things mentioned below)

'I could have any woman I want, they throw themselves at me! Why the ^%$% am I with you!'

'I have been on the verge of suicide. If I do commit suicide, it will be all your fault'

'You had 8 months, knowing my work contract was ending, to find me a job, and you didn't do a %$#$^% thing about it!'

Calling me in essence fat by saying things like 'you are out of shape', 'you need to excercise because I don't want you getting ugly and fat as you get older' (I am 5'3" and 105lb)

Also looking at other women in sexy clothes and asking 'why don't you dress like that?'

Asking every few minutes 'do you love me?' Or asking my son 'am I your buddy?'

Telling me that I don't make enough money, 'why don't you sleep with the boss and get a promotion'

'We are going to have to declare bankruptcy because you don't make enough to float us!' (he meanwhile has managed to stash away somewhere between 50 to 100K)

'you can't live without me'

'I wish you would leave and find another man so that he can abuse you the way you say I do. In fact I would like to watch him beat the &^%$ out of you and would applaude him because you deserve it'

'I have a higher IQ than you'

'I had more responsibility in my job at 17 years old than you do now. I could do your job and be better at it than you or any of your co-workers' (mind you he sold water softeners at 17)

After being particularly abusive 'I admit I can be mean, but what do you expect when I haven't gotten a permanent contract at work'

'You are supposed to stand behind me when I am this depressed, not turn your back on me' This said after another abusive episode. I guess I am supposed to stand there and take it rather than try to leave the room.

About my son and diciplining him 'he is supposed to be obedient and what I say goes. If he doesn't, he gets his ^%$$ whooped' (my son was 3 years old when he started this questionable parenting approach. One of the big reasons I left)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
In reply to: cl_blueliner4
Sun, 01-23-2005 - 7:51pm

YOU GO! The kids stay with me!
I am smarter than you. I have a college degree!
No one will ever believe you because you are on antidepressants, and I'll tell everyone, including the Judge you are an unfit mother!!
You will get nothing!
YOU move out!
Be a mother and do your job and shut up!!
You are worth nothing!
I don't need you here!
We are all better off without you!
No other man would put up with your s--t!
Is it that time of the month again??!