Is verbal abuse, domestic abuse?
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Is verbal abuse, domestic abuse?
| Sun, 09-17-2006 - 3:23pm |
I am honestlly scared of my husband right now. I have asked him to leave due to numerous reasons, we aren't getting along, he spends a lot of time on internet porn sites, he goes to strip clubs and gets lap dances, he has done hallucinogenic drugs since we were married, and finally I caught him on a online dating website. He wasn't a full fledged member yet, but he was receiving messages from girls all over our area. I read his bio that he wrote and I discovered of course did not mention he was married. Last night, he said he really didn't want to get a divorce and wanted to go to marital counseling. However, he preceeded by calling me a cold hearted b-tch due to the fact I suggested he start to look for an apartment and he doesn't have good credit.
He also has a previous history of misdemeanors, one of them includes family violence with his ex-girlfriend.
This morning I mentioned he forgot and left our front door open all night and if he would take the garbage out and he went ballistic. He told me to do the laundry which I was about to start anyway, but he was slamming the door so loud that I thought it was going to come off the hinges.
He has yelled at me and used the f word many times in the past. This afternoon he appears to have left and is looking for somewhere else to live. I already have initiated contact with a divorce attorney. I keep the cell phone close just in case I have to call 911. I almost think I should consider packing up and leaving to a hotel for a week. I am afraid for my animals (3 cats), we don't have any children. Maybe I am over-reacting? He has never hit me in our entire 5 1/2 year relationship and we have been married for 2 years. Right now I feel so scared.
I have a cousin I could call here in town, but she already has problems with her husband.
He also has a previous history of misdemeanors, one of them includes family violence with his ex-girlfriend.
This morning I mentioned he forgot and left our front door open all night and if he would take the garbage out and he went ballistic. He told me to do the laundry which I was about to start anyway, but he was slamming the door so loud that I thought it was going to come off the hinges.
He has yelled at me and used the f word many times in the past. This afternoon he appears to have left and is looking for somewhere else to live. I already have initiated contact with a divorce attorney. I keep the cell phone close just in case I have to call 911. I almost think I should consider packing up and leaving to a hotel for a week. I am afraid for my animals (3 cats), we don't have any children. Maybe I am over-reacting? He has never hit me in our entire 5 1/2 year relationship and we have been married for 2 years. Right now I feel so scared.
I have a cousin I could call here in town, but she already has problems with her husband.

Hi.
Welcome to the Board. If you are worried that this is abuse, then it probably is. You wouldn't be worried for nothing. You know that something is wrong, but you can't really put the finger on it.
It is a great idea to get out of the house and go to a hotel for a week. I really hope that he is out trying to look for an apartment. It is the best thing for you. To get out and to get away from him.
You are not over-reacting. You are doing the right thing. He may not have hit you, but that does not mean that he hasn't been abusing you. I believe that emotional / verbal abuse is worse than physical abuse. Over time they screw with your mind, ruin your self esteem, make you believe everything they say, brainwash you...this list goes on and on. To a lot of people it seems that hitting is worse because he hit you it's worse than words. But I don't belive that at all. (To some extent) They torture you with words and they do something to your soul. It is horrible. The other thing is that any kind of abuse over time will get worse. If he hasn't hit you yet, there is a good chance that down the road he will.
Go to a hotel, go see your cousin, just get out of the house. Think about yourself and your wellbeing. I am also very happy that you have already called your divorce attorney. You are on the right path, just take that step to get out of this unhealthy realtionship. You deserve so much more.
Lauren