Very Confusing

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
Very Confusing
2
Mon, 01-17-2005 - 9:38pm
I am a new member of this website and came on because someone had told me that it would be good support. I have been married for almost 4 years, I had a good marriage until about 1 1/2 year ago. My son was about 6 months old at the time, when eveything started to unravel...
My husband began to become very withdrawn, visibly depressed and much more irritated..Our arguments became increasingly more frequent and brutal. Then the physical aspect came into play. He would choke, throw, lick my face, push and degrate me. We, and he alone went to counseling, marriage and individual-What I find so confusing in all of this, is that I know that it is wrong, and I know that I don't deserve this, but I still can't bring myself to divorce him. We have been seperated for almost a year, and he is has been out of the house for that long also, but he comes and goes to see my son. He is usually crying and telling me he is sorry and it will never happen again, but it seems to always come back..
Recently he was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and they prescribed him Lithium, to try to alleve his episode...His father was very abusive to him when he was a child, which in turn he apparently acts out on me...
I guess I am somewhat coming to the realization that they really don't change, and that I am going to have to let go of all of my dreams, in order to save my child from being exposed and probably influenced by his father's behavior towards women...
I just wanted to talk...Thanks for listening...
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-15-2004
In reply to: mom_spring
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 11:37am
Congrats on the frist step. you see there is no changing him. Bi-polors are hard to deal with when not on meds, and maybe some day with lot and lot of therapy he may be better. But if and when that day ever comes it will probablly be to late for you and him. You talk about him but what do you want? Have you thought about you lately? If you stop for a minute to think about you, you maybe suprized to find a friend you have not known for a long time. You! Think about what you want out of life and don't include you should be ex. If he is getting help from someone good then he may be well enough to have a part in your sons life, but you should make that a stipulation to visitation rights that he is in therapy and has a Doctor for long term therapy. Good luck with everything and yes there are many great ladies on this borad that make wonderful friends.
Jenn
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-17-2005
In reply to: mom_spring
Tue, 01-18-2005 - 9:32pm
Thank you:)