Was I abused ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2006
Was I abused ?
11
Tue, 10-31-2006 - 4:37pm
He never hit me.........but said sometimes he wanted to.He would put me down for not looking like a movie star 24/7 and then when I would doll up, I would be accused of having a boyfriend ! And I felt like I could do nothing right or good enough. And it seemed like anything I enjoyed or was interested in, was some how wrong. For example,I've always enjoyed exercise and staying in shape, he even commented that he liked the fact that I took good care of myself, so after I had my 2 boys my body wasn't in very good shape. So I bought an exercise bike. One day he came in the door and said that he was going to take a nap in his recliner, I was getting ready to ride my bike and I kept it out of the way in the living room, and that's where his recliner is, so I moved it into our bedroom, just got started at a good pace, he comes in and says, you need to move that thing, I'm going to take a nap in here, so I moved it again. No sooner got on it and here he comes back in the living room. So, I gave it up. Decided I was only going to work out when he wasn't home. And other things too. I enjoy reading, crocheting, gardening and was collecting porcelain dolls. After I would get him and the boys fed and taken care of,I would do one of these activities, he would be watching tv, totally ignoring me, and then all of a sudden he would accuse me of doing whatever it was to ignore him! And my dolls I kept in our bedroom and was out of the way.I didn't have a lot, I love them but didn't want to over do it. All of a sudden one day he decides that they aren't necessary and tells me that I need to get rid of them! It broke my heart, but I got rid of them.I started to feel like he was happier with nothing of me in the house!And this past christmas he bought me a 3 foot tall porcelain angel, it shocked me, but I really loved it! One day he gets in one of his moods and tells me he don't know why I bought that thing but it needs to go ! I was so confused! I didn't buy it! And I wasn't getting rid of it either..............I left! Was this abuse..........I really need to know?!

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2004
In reply to: sexy_06
Fri, 11-03-2006 - 6:50pm
The thing that I did not hear you say was that you tried to reason with him and I'm going to guess the reason I didn't hear that is because he gave you reason to give up trying to talk things out a long time ago. I know exactly what you mean and the thing is that there are so many men out there I here bending over backwards for their women in an effort to SHARE a life and home and COMPROMISE.
I am keenly aware of the lack of these things-
I think, if this is not abuse, it is control- and it also seems like malicious control- so yes- it is probably abuse.
I've asked myself the same questions too- and I find so much in common with what I read from other women here.
Stay strong.

Pages