we are all living on the edge
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| Fri, 05-27-2005 - 2:21am |
Hia Friends from over the pond.
Things are still the same , social have now said that they cant do anything , after they said they would do.
I have talked to him till im blue in the face , but hes not bothered sbout us , just himself.
Anyway , im going back to my solicitor to see if she can get him out..
Last night my youngest opened up to me again.
She said her dad should go , she knows that we are better off without him.
Shes just bothered about him living on his own ,
ive said to her its ONLY when hes on his own that he will reaslise what hes doing and hopefully get help.
We saw an advert in the local papers for some puppies for sale , beagle puppies , they are far and few between round here, so me and my two daughters went to see them.
They were absolutley gorgeous,
My eldest daughter whos near enough moved out said Amy , the 14 yr old, needs something thats hers , to take her mind off things , to help her once hes gone ,
i mean she doesnt go out , she cant face school , shes started drinking at 14 , shes even told me she wants to self harm, , because the pain of that will take away the pain of homelife , i mean thats really bad isnt it , wanting to self harm........
So weve bought a puppy , a little boy , daxter........
He comes home on Sunday........
Katy very calmingly told her dad what we had done , that we have put a deposit on a puppy and that hes coming home on Sunday
He went MAD!!!!!!!!!!
He shouted - " that puppy isnt coming here , I wasnt consulted about it , if it comes here i will open all the doors so it goes on the road and gets run over "..........both girls are in the room............then he looks at me and shouts " you will phone them up NOW and tell them that you are not coming for it and the deal is off" ,
Katy , 19 , gets her stuff and goes to her boyfriends for the night.
Amy , 14 , gets her stuff and goes to her mates for the night.
I sleep in katys bed , and now its morning , hes just said " you didnt sleep with me last night , have you fell out with me again " !!!!!
Im on the verge of chucking his stuff out , and not letting him back in .
But that puppy is coming home on Sunday.......end of story......
We NEVER ask for a lot , we go on all the holidays HE wants to go on ,
i think this is really out of order , its not as if he cares about me or the girls , otherwise i would understand, its not as if we have a great home life ,
otherwise he would in his right to have a say , he doesnt care tha Amy is depressed and cant go to school.
No all he cares about is him ,and all i care about is my 2 precious girls.
Because someone has to.
To say that hes going to " open all the doors so it goes out and gets run over" , THATS SICK.......... and i think thats abusive in itself.?
I have no idea what kind of weekend we are going to have , but i am PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN ABOUT THE PUPPY....it comes home on Sunday , and if doesnt like , i will show him the door. If youd have seen the girls faces light up , when they held that puppy , youd be saying the same.
I havent seen them smile like that for years.

First off, {{hugs}}
Second, please be careful when the puppy comes to live with you. Abusers are VERY GOOD at using animals to get at people they love.
MY XH killed our rabbit, Buster. He was a lop earred rabbit, only a year old. He ran free in our house and was litter trained. lol I know, weird, but he was. He would meet us at the refrigerator, waiting to be fed vegetables. Day by day, my XH, would kick him out of the way, not hard, but he'd kick him. I'd yell at him and tell him not to do that. That the next time that I'd call the cops for animal cruelty. He's just laugh at me and tell me that it's just an animal. That infuriated me. I wish to God that I would've kicked him out before THAT night.
Apparently he came home from work, and had enough of our "precious" bunny, and kicked him hard. Because I heard a yelp. I quickly got out of bed, he worked second shift, and went to see our rabbit hovered in a corner, breathing funny. I yelled at him "What did you do to Buster?" I KNEW that he'd kicked him because he'd always done it.
I won't get into detail about what happened to me for yelling at him, but let's just say that the next morning, Buster was dead. and my kids were heart broken. They still talk about that to this day. I filed charges against my XH, but they said there wasn't PROOF that he'd caused the rabbit's death.
My kids STILL talk about that to this day and that was over 7 years ago. My twins were only 3 at the time and they remember Buster.
I'm not trying to scare you, only to give you a heads up of what COULD happen. Not saying it's going to. I just wanted to share my story with you so that you're aware of what could happen.
{{HUGS}} to your children. :)
Lori
Survivor of domestic violence, free of DV for 7 years, mom of Jennifer, Kristina, Ryan, Marissa, Caitlyn, and Isabel.
Obviously, if he does not get help, you and your precious children cannot live with him anymore. As soon as you can show him the door, then do it. You will all feel the greatest flood of relief. But please make sure he will not retaliate if that happens. Take all of the necessary precautions before you do that. I am sure that the resources that you have over there are pretty much the same as what we have here 'over the pond.' Once he is out, perhaps go with your children to counseling and let them unburden what has been weighing heavily on them for so long. I wish you all the luck in the world.