we broke up for good..no going back..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
we broke up for good..no going back..
3
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 7:29am

Since the last time I posted here I have been basically kissing his behind trying to appease him in ever way possible. A recap is we broke up last week he got his things I went out with some friends he got angry saying I disrespected him by going out. Even though he said we were not technically together he has been there everyday making me feel bad for going out and for my living arrangements. He said all week that we are not together and that if I did not have my roomate out of my house by the 19th he would not talk to me anymore. He said he can go out and do whatever because I did whatever I wanted to do last weekend. He said he would not get back together with me until I get my life in order. I have no idea why I listen to him and why I always feel like I did something wrong when the day before he pushed me, screamed at me and made me sit in my bathroom crying. Did he forget about that? Isnt that disrespect? I guess he forget about all that. Two and a half weeks before he grabed me so hard out of my car I banged my head on the door and had a knot and bruise on my forehead? Did he forget about that? A couple weeks before that he choked me so hard I lost my breath. He literally ripped my nail off my finger. He left bruises on my arms from grabbing me so hard. He punched me in the side of my head and left a knotted there. He banged my head into the window. He broke my windshield. The list goes on. What about all that? When he so called promised to stop. It does not matter what he does to me just what I do tho him. Because I do everything wrong and hurtful to him all the time according to him.

Yesterday started out like every other day this week. He is miserable like usual. I took my son to the store to get Easter clothes. He said no he did not want to go he did not sleep all not because he was so stressed. Because he lives "out of a box" at his sisters. He moved in with her out of his place because he thought he was moving in with me. I have a roomate that did not want to leave (thank God) and put up a fight because of it so he moved in with her and made me feel like sh** everyday because of it. Mind you he has no job, car, money nothing. He cant get one because he is "Stressed." After the mall I went to get my son's haircut. He called I told him. Since there was a wait at the salon I went to get my nails done and he called. Since I did not call him to inform him I went to get my nails done while I waited for my appointment he did not want to see me yesterday. Then he changed his my so stupid me picked him up. After I dropped my son off for the evening I asked if he wanted to do something he said no. I said why do you always say no. He flipped out screaming and yelling at me "how dare I say that" You have the nerve to say that after everything I do for you." I have no idea what the he** he is fipping out about. What was wrong with what I said. I am crying at this point. He said to go to the store then. When we got there I asked "are you coming in" . He said something really smart so I said never mind. He starts with the take me home. So I did. I was crying as he screamed at me the whole way there. I dont care about him blah blah blah. I get to his house he yells at me to get out of the car or he will smash it into the window. So I did and went into his house. I was embarassed because I am red in the face crying and his sister is there. We get back in the car and he starts screaming at me again. then tells me to take him home again. I said why did you make me do this you could have stayed and left me leave. he makes me pull over. Starts screaming then grabs me by my neck and face a couple times. I am scared, hurt, numbe at this point. This continues on for an hour. Finally he lets me leave because he starts crying saying I dont care about him and starts talking about everything I do wrong to him, I disrespected him by going out, he lives out of a box (means clothes are boxed still at his sisters.) I went home. I called him to tell him how hurt I was and how dare he put his hands on me again. I flipped out. I said I hope you got your thrills off by hurting me. Does that make you fell like a man? Then I asked why and he started saying something smart so I hung up. He tried to call back but I am proud I did not answer. Then he came by told me to open the door I said no and he kept saying who are you talking to on the phone then he said I was sneaky and said I got your sneakiness and left. I am so exhasted and hurt emotionally right now. I dont even no what to think but I know I am not going back. He is going to end up killing me or hurting me really bad if I stay so I got put myself first and my kid and thing about me for a change. Thank you for your support and for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 8:06am

Honey, you've made a wise decision, the only one possible to keep yourself safe and control of your life in your own hands. THANK GOODNESS he never moved in with you--you could have been doing the screaming and grabbing thing all night.

It will be hard to stay away from him, but you can do it. NO CONTACT, just as everyone on this board says. He will try to make you feel guilty, he will try to manipulate you into taking him back, but be strong. When the workweek starts, please seek a restraining order against him. He has already hurt you, and he continues to be dangerous.

You are taking an important, exhilerating and frightening step on the path to a new life. Please keep posting, so we will know how you are.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 3:45pm
You've done a VERY wise thing by giving him the boot. "Kissing his butt" does no good, as you've discovered, because nothing is ever good enough for these "men". As the other poster says, NO CONTACT- we'll be here to help you stick to it!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2005
Sat, 04-15-2006 - 7:04pm

What Erin said.