Aw, sweetie, I am so sorry this turned into such an awful weekend for you. It's so disappointing when something you are looking forward to as much as you were this weekend turns to pure crap. When that happens I just have to remember something I learned in going to AA and NA for MANY years. It's okay to make plans, but it's not okay to plan the outcome. I realize you love your friend unconditionally but you know what I see this weekend as doing for you??? I see tremendous growth and maturity on your part. It's so very painful when our personal growth outpaces that of someone we dearly love and we realize that we are no longer in a place where being around them is the positive experience it once was. I suspect that A has stood still emotional maturity wise while over these last few months you have been growing by leaps and bounds. This is a GOOD thing though, because you are now able to see what is important to you and what infringes on your personal boundaries. Even though it feels terrible right now and you have cried buckets, in reality, wish, you have won the victory. YOu have been in a situation that you were not comfortable with and didn't enjoy, and rather than try to make yourself fit in, you stood by your convictions and held firm to your own personal boundaries. That is such a tremendous victory for you and I am so proud of you. I know it hurts right now, but at least you aren't suffering a hangover, worrying about having had unprotected, uncommitted sex, or any of the other things that those who did indulge in that behavior are experiencing today. Continue to love your friend, but realize too that you very well could be outgrowing her, and frankly honey, that is a good thing. It says a world of positive things about YOU! Hugest hugs, enjoy that self-respect that you are feeling today. You deserve it, you have earned it, it is your right. God Bless, Mama Harmony
Mama Harmony
You know what Mama Harm, I never, EVER, in a a million years would have looked at it that way.
Saw this in my paper today, and thought of you.
http://www.fresnobee.com/lifestyle/story/8489599p-9333231c.html
tracytrebilcox
Community leader since March 2000 for Domestic Abuse: New Beginnings board and Domestic Abuse/Support Buddies chat (7pm et/4pm left coast)