Well I can't believe I'm here

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Well I can't believe I'm here
6
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 9:40am

I don't know how to do this but someone told me I might find some answers here I have a really bad problems with coming out with everything but I will try

 

 

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 11:17am

Hon, you're well out of it, and you need to stay away from him. He hit your son and you, and he is almost certain to do it again. I don't mean to scare you, but I work with people with disabilities, and one of our gentlemen had become mentally retarded when his abusive parent threw him headfirst into a wall. I know you don't want to take even the slightest chance of that happening to your son. Even if that extreme never came to pass, your boy will learn what he sees, and he will learn to act just like his dad if that is what he grows up seeing.

You are so young, and you have every chance in the world of making a better life for yourself and your son. Stay strong, stay away from him (we always preach NO CONTACT, so he can't suck you back in) and keep reading here. You CAN do it.

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Avatar for melsdone
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 2:12pm

Hello Jayson's Momma, welcome to the board. First of all, you are very brave for doing what you have done, so give yourself LOTS of credit for that! You are so young and it's so easy to get sucked back by their words and promises, but continue to stand up for yourself - you CAN do it, you already have done the hard part, you've separated from him. It's going to be tough to go through a divorce (I know, I'm in the middle of one right now) but it won't be as tough as trying to raise your son in a home that isn't safe. Your number one priority right now is being safe! I'm glad that you have your parents to help you, take any and all help you can get when it's offered, you're a young mom and it's incredibly hard to be a mom, but at your age, you must be a pretty special gal, be proud of yourself!

You've done all the right things so far, but keep that protection order with NO CONTACT! If he breaks it ONCE! you go to the cops and report it. If you don't, that will open the door for him to come back into your life but he's a danger to you and your son. You don't need that! Document any contact, it will help you in court. Find a women's shelter to give you advice, they have advocates that can go to the courthouse or just give you a shoulder to cry on. They are a valuable resource and want to help.

You can do this, be strong and keep coming back here, the women here are wonderful and know what you are going through.

Good luck, keep us posted.

Mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 12-21-2005 - 5:50pm

Hi Momma -


Listen to everyone else.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2004
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 9:27am

I tried to post yesterday, but it got screwed up so here goes again:

Hun, listen to those of us who are um older and have been there. We know where you are and how you feel.

First off:

Run don't walk to the nearest exit
Do no pass GO and collect $200
Listen to your gut instincts they're there for a reason
Go get your divorce, raise your son to be a good man and think of this as a life lesson never to repeat
You are so young and have a beautiful boy who deserve to grow up happy and well adjusted.

Secondly:
Abuse runs in cycles and yours is escalating. First he hit you, then your son, then threats, then blackmail. You know where this is heading and it's not good. Please take all precautions possible. Make a safety plan and follow it. Contact your local DV/Women's shelter(there's no shame in it and it will not cost anything to just talk) and get some help in staying safe and what to do if something should happen.

Lastly:
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T SPEND A SINGLE NIGHT ALONE WITH THAT MAN. HE IS DANGEROUS AND YES YOU COULD GET SERIOUSLY HURT AND OR KILLED. YOUR BABY NEEDS A MOM.

Hugs and tons of support,
Jennifer

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2005
Thu, 12-22-2005 - 11:02pm
Thank you all for your support I understand that yall know where I am coming from and I feel get that I have a place i can some to and let it all out!!!!! I just want to think you all again and I hope I can have to guts to really stay away this time I mean i have left before for likea day or two but maybe this time since I've been gone over a week he will get the point that im not going to come back. cause my friend told me that he told her that he never taught i would leave so I am happy to know that he knows I am gone and I dont think i will be stupid and go back!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 12-23-2005 - 5:19am
Sweetie - PLEASE stay AWAY. I have a story for you that is too long & too personal to post her. But feel free to email me at NwptRN@yahoo.com

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