went to court today.. reallly confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
went to court today.. reallly confused
2
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 5:09pm

Hi Everyone!

Well havent been around a while because dont have computer at home and been putting in a lot of hours at work and dont have computer there either! So here I sit at the library!

Well here is what is going on and I am upset and angry and just a little of everything right now...

You all know my DH was charged with dv back in september. Then thanksgiving day we had a fight and he hit me and threw a fan at me and i picked it up and threw it back. Well when I threw it back it cut the back of his head.. So when HE called the cops.. We both went to jail. I bonded out since mine is a misdemeanor and his is now a felony since 2nd charge .. He has since gone before grand jury and bonded out and he is going back to court for first charge in 2 weeks and then 2nd charge in a month.

Well I went to court today and since it is my first charge they offered me what they call a diversion program. I go to dv classes for 12 weeks and my record is wiped clean, as long as I plead guilty. So I did and went and signed up for classes i start next tuesday and they could be helpful anyways. We were going to go with the self defense but my atty said that it probably wont work because I should have got up and left or stayed gone when I left the first time he was calling me names. And yeah she is probably right.. I am just upset with this whole matter.

I have been talking to DH even though we are not supposed to and things are just a real mess right now... He is upset I am upset. not quite sure what to do or where to turn right now and it sucks. to put it nicely.

Kind of regreting pleading guilty.. but I am going back to college this spring and dont want to ruin anything with a dv charge on me. but he knows the system and one little fight and he will be calling the law on me and getting me a felony. this is crazy! I love my dh and as long as we get help i know we will be ok and i know he is under a lot of stress with his court dates etc coming up but what about me? Its not all about him. I bought the book about angry and controlling men... he found it and wasnt happy and threw it away! go figure!

I just need someone to talk to... to get through this mess... I am losing my mind... slowly but surely!

Thanks for listening and sorry it is so long

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 5:23pm

Hi honey -


Unfortunately, this is something that does happen if you fight back.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Wed, 01-05-2005 - 10:23pm
A felony is very very serious. That is not something to be taken lightly. It will follow you around the rest of your life. If he gets help his chances are 1% that he will change. So that's 99% of him calling the cops on you and you ending up with a felony. Maybe you'll beat the odds.