WHAT????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
WHAT????
5
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 10:58am
Update, H has been super nice past couple of months after I kicked him out and stupid me let him back in because he was willing to do "anything". He blew up Saturday and still going on about it because among other things he is tired of "kissing my butt" to try to make things right. I feel like I am going crazy. Bonus points for me though......when he told me this morning that it was MY fault that he gets mad, I had enough nerve to tell him that his anger was HIS anger and he was the only one responsible for it. He honestly didn't understand this though and tried to convince me that I was wrong. I got in his face and camly said "I am not accepting responsibility for YOUR anger, it belongs to you and only you, I can't control it and I won't try any more". Woohoo! crazy I know, but I feel a little sense of accomplishment even though he will probably NEVER "get" it. Don't know what's going to happen now, but I'm one step closer to freedom. I can feel it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 11:28am

It's like we've told you, once they loose control, they get either really angry or all nicey nice, i.e. the honeymoon phase.

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 12:56pm

No contact is so hard, but has to be done, I understand.

I did something stupid this weekend. In a moment of weakness, I made contact.

Gee, guess what the results were? First all nicey nicey on email and then on the phone, he lost it again because I told him I just can't live with his anger. Turned into a tearful stick in the eye again for me.

His response was I blame him for everything, he does not recall EVER being cruel to me, denial blame and the usual crap.

I finally packed all his things and left them with his doorman yesterday.

Now, no contact anymore, time to heal. Please God, take away this pain.
It is even more painful because he tried to make me be the crazy one again with his warped sense of reality in an effort to make himself look good.
AHHHHH!

No more contact
No more contact
No more contact
I can do it.
If I want another sharp stick in the eye, next time I will just go outside, break a twig and poke myself.
No more contact.

No man is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 1:05pm
I know, It's really hard now that I let him back. The hardest is that it's His house, everything in his name. I don't even want it anymore, I just want to move far, far away. I'm determined that when we get to that point again, I won't let him cry his way back in. Lord knows I've cried enough for both of us. Now, since I won't beg him to stay anymore and try not to even fight about it......he says that I don't care and that it's probably the medication that I take for depression/anxiety. WHATEVER. I'm just tired of the hurting and all the "feeling like I'm crazy". He came by my work and told me that I should think about where we all would be without him......uh....happy?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 1:12pm

Why did he come by your work for?

5yrssm 
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
In reply to: morgantlsmom
Mon, 09-26-2005 - 1:16pm

That is exactly the same for me. Since I am not beggin and crying fo him to come back and saying I was wrong, I am sorry, He actually put this in writing this weekend, I am the one doing this to HIM!!!

He doesn't recall calling me evil, abandonning me, call me horrible names. And now that I am not being dramatic anymore, I am cold. No taking accountability, acknowledgement, nada.

He said the same thing, who will you find better than me? Like he is God's gift.
Whatever. Time for him to go find his next victim.

If you can walk away, do it. It will be hard, after a couple of weeks you forget things. Keep a journal of what he says so you don't forget and get weak.

Also, don't even think about a new guy. I went on a date Saturday night. MISTAKE.
I had a great time, perfect gentleman, brought roses etc. When he called the next day, I discovered he has way too many issues, I mean WAY to many, and then it makes the x look not that bad and you fear getting out there and stuff. You need to take some serious time for yourself I have discovered. Trust me, it is not easy. DON'T FORGET his words, control and manipulation.