What am i doing wrong?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
What am i doing wrong?
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 8:13am
Well all week ive been telling him that the kids are suffering and they dont like coming home from school , at the moment they are actually living with my mum and dad as they dont want to come home until ive got him out. Ive told him this , and hes not bothered , he wont leave , i mean ive got more emotional ingegrity than he will ever have , and i live by my principals , he doesnt seem to have any at all, i cant beleive that hes not even bothered that his kids are suffering , hes not bothered that we dont want him there anymore??? , i would leave if someone told me that. Wouldnt you............???.another thing i cannot understand is this : everytime i talk to him , he stops me when i get to the get some help part , when we get to the open up part , when we get to the talk to me about your feelings part..........why wont these men open up , hes totally mr skindeep?........everything is ok as long as he gets the payoffs , not us...him or nothing...and how can ANYONE live in the circumstances that we are living in , when my kids wont come home , its plainly obvious that something is very wrong here?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2003
Sat, 03-29-2003 - 9:49am
Yes, of course there is a huge problem there, he is an abusive man and they don't really care about anyone else but themselves. Abusers are totally selfish and rarely show any goodwill to their victims, theirs is the only agenda that matters.

It doesn't sound like he is going to leave voluntarily, but if you can get an OP against him, you can have him removed, at least until things are settled in court. Otherwise, you may have to think of leaving with your kids temporarily until you can file for divorce and ask for temorary possession of the house until a settlement can be reached.

I'm sorry he is being so reluctant, sweetie, but it doesn't surprise me, either.