What can i do for my friend??
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|Thu, 03-27-2003 - 1:00pm|
I lurk here sometimes and would like to ask ya'll for some help. I, myself am free of my sorry dh, someone who would not work and help pay the bills. We were together for 6 yrs and on April 1 (next week) we will be divorced. Well, i have been living with my parents since i left him and took on a part-time job at a local country grocery store, about a mile from my house. My mom works there also. I used to work there about 12 yrs ago when i was in high-school and college. One of my co-workers then was married to a man that wouldn't work steady and was on drugs. She and her family has been friends with our family for years (it's a small area where we live). She had left her husband two other times, but went back both times.
Well, last fall she found out she had breast cancer. She immediately had a lumpectomy done and started with radiation treatment, we just found out that she had stage 3 cancer. While taking radiation, she was extremely tired and couldn't eat, etc. And her husband quit his job, we are thinking because he wouldn't pass a drug test. If he was laid off he could have gotten unemployment, but he never came into the office where i work, to apply for it.
At the store where we work, we are allowed to charge groceries and then the boss takes it out of our paychecks. Which is great, but for my friend, her husband would come in and charge over $100 a week to her in cigarettes, so he could resell them for money for drugs, crack being his choice right now. I mean, while she is going through cancer treatment and not working that much, he was charging her whole paycheck away no cigarettes, steaks, anything so he could get money. Well, our boss said he couldn't do that any more, so that helps alot.
Anyway, she lives behind the store, across the street. On tuesday, when the butcher came back to work, he heard her husband raising holy h**l at her. He was in the yard and she was in the house. He didn't hear or see the butcher pull up to work, but when he turned around and saw him, he went in the house. She has told me my mom that she couldn't deal with everything when she was going through the radiation, and actually she says that her mind was very clouded then, so that was probably a good thing. But now she is taking chemo (i may have the treatments backwards, she has already taken the ones that make you real sick, now she is doing the other) she is feeling alot better now and i think is getting tired of it all. But i know her self esteem is very low and probably wonders how she would make it without him. But he hasn't worked in months. he has told her and his mom that he was going to rehab, would go for a few hours and then leave.
He makes me sick. To think that she had breast cancer of all things and he has done like this totally disgusts me. My mom has told her that she could move into her house, as i am moving on my own soon. I would even share my place with her. i just don't know what to do for her right now. I WANT to go up to her house and tell her to get a few things and come on with me. But that's not very realistic. His family has said that they would help her anyway they could. Two of his brothers actually got so mad at him a few years ago and beat him up.
I guess after all this message writing, i just need to know what i can do for her. I keep hoping that after going through this she will really see where her life is heading. It took me going through a miscarriage last year to realized what type of man i was married to and where my life was heading. So i'm hoping that this will make her see how precious life is and that everyone deserves to be happy. She has been married at least 20 yrs and has a son that won't really have anything to do with his dad. Her son has a child not quite a yr old, which i believe is the only thing that has helped her get through this. Thanks for hanging in here this long, i just can't believe that she has put up with this. Which i know what i put up with, but finally i got to a point where i couldn't stand it any more. what can i do to help her?