what a day

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
what a day
11
Fri, 07-08-2005 - 11:38am

Well this morning is just awful. for once, my bf had to get up and work at 9am like a normal person instead of in the afternoon. So naturally last night he didn't go to bed til 3 am.

so i woke him up and he was mad of course. that's not unusual for him in the morning...or any time of day for that matter.

anyhow, I put an orange and some treats in his bag and noticed a phone number in there, and it said "call after 6:30". I was absolutely pissed. He was still in bed when I went in the room and demanded to know who "Leanne" is.

He seemed quiet for a minute, then said, "that's a message to call someone at work." then he completely changed his tune and was stark raving mad, telling me how I make his life a living hell and he has done everything to make me happy, etc etc. And how he was going to show everyone how sorry they should be that he has had such a rough life, etc.

So he came and hit me in the back a few times and started to make feel guilty about having upset him when he has done so many good things for me in the past while and how he gets nothing but "$hit and abuse" from me when he tries.

I actually feel quite guilty because over the past few days he has really been trying to help me and then i accused him of having another woman's phone number.

I know it's crazy. I read it myself and feel insane just thinking about it. It's not my fault he can't control his temper. It's not my fault that he was abused as a child. it's not my fault that he doesn't like his job, his family, his life, but somehow I always feel I am supposed to take the blame.

I do feel guilty. he has been trying really hard in the past while, but I just don't trust him. i feel like he has someone else on the side, I feel like I shouldnt' allow myself to trust him, I just feel nuts.

I went to work and then told them i was sick and came home. I feel just nuts.
Please offer me a little comfort. I don't have anyone to turn to :(

Shawna

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Sat, 07-09-2005 - 9:37am

& he WILL never be happy. NO MATTER WHAT ***YOU*** DO. Take my word for it.


I met me STBX, he was 30 yrs old, no job, GED, living with him Mom. Within 3 months he moved into me apt. We got engaged a year 1/2 later & we bought a great condo with MY 20K down payment.

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