What do I do ?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
What do I do ?
1
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 8:38am

My husband was very emotionally abusive . It got to the point where I would throw up when he was home & I lost 25 lbs !! While I was throwing up he would stand over me and rant . I tried several times to leave him . FInally I did a bad thing & fell in love with someone else . Someone who saw me for the person I really was !! He treats me like a princess . A year later I finally leave husband . I try to get a protective order due to a very ugly incident . The judge dismisses it .Social services found him to be abusive however but didn't do anyhting. I finally left him giving him joint custody of the kids
and the house and 90% of the stuff in it . We have been legally seperated for 2 months and everytime I try to move on he uses the kids to make me feel as I should make it work . He buys them expensive stuff so they like his house better . I know he is very bad for me and I know I can't go back . I just can't seem to make him see I don't love him anymore . I let my fear of the legal stuff he threatens keep me in my little box. I missed 6 weeks of work b/c I didn't want to make him angry . He has my whole family on his side b/c they never see his bad side . Before I left him he was taping my phone conversations and having me followed . He wants to punish me for the affair but he wouldn't let me leave !! In my heart I honestly know without the new guy i'd never have had the courage to leave and I would never have been able to take a lifetime of my husband. I would love to go to a counseler but, I can't afford one and group makes me feel uncomfortable . SO, how do I let my fear of him go & move on ? How do I find affordable counseling? TIZ for any help !!

Nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Tue, 04-04-2006 - 11:43am

The first thing you want to do is to contact your local womens' shelter. They will be in the yellow pages of your phone book. They deal with stuff like this on a daily basis, and can advise you as to the options in your area. You can also check out www.womenslaw.org for advice on general legal options.

(((Hugs))) on your family taking his side. We're going through the same thing with my SIL; FIL actively befriends the guy, MIL just sits back and doesn't say/do anything about it, and DH thinks it's acceptable to hang out in groups with the guy- "but I don't talk to him directly!" :P This is the single hardest thing SIL has to deal with, and it is making it hard for her to move on. Remember, that just because they don't see it doesn't mean it isn't there, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

Image hosted by Photobucket.com