What to do with STBX’s sudden show of attention and affection
Find a Conversation
|Thu, 08-02-2012 - 4:12pm|
Hello, I was redirected by someone on the Divorce board in this thread:
I had not told the kids, because I didn’t want him to learn from them that we are divorcing. . I don’t know how to tell them since he simply says that he is not divorcing and he loves me and he has a good marriage is good. He is not home day and night, now all of a sudden he wants to go on a vacation with us. What do I tell the kids? How?
I filed for D a month ago, but he received the papers this Tuesday. We are still in the same home, with H sleeping on the couch for months and little communication only when absolutely essential. I had prepared for every violent possibility, instead he was calm and all of a sudden he is present as a father. Today he tried to have flowers delivered to me at work. I had to have a colleague tell the delivery man to send them back. I got an email proclaiming his love, his kids are the greatest gift he could ever have, with a veiled suicide threat that his life is not worth living if I and the children are not in it.
How do you deal with the emotional blackmail? How can you be sure the suicide threat is just manipulation?
I can’t leave, even temporarily with the kids, I am asking for the house and to stay in the house with the kids until the D is final. If I leave, it could play against me to have the house, even under temporary measures. I am the sole financial supporter of the family and our family life is like one of a single mom with a man sleeping on the couch.
Unless he stalls proceedings by saying he wants to mediate, or otherwise, we are scheduled in court in a couple of weeks to arrange temporary measures.