what do u do after u leave and ex....

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
what do u do after u leave and ex....
2
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 9:39am
I have not posted in a long while. Here is a little recap. I ended an abusive relationship back in March of this year. I am feeling better emotionally and phsyically right know. I know I still have a long way to go but the hurt pain is finally subsiding. I do have a problem though. I have a child with my ex and have had to deal with him a on weekly basis. He is still to this day very verbally abusive to me. My son is still seeing this even though we do not live together. He has moved on almost imediately with this nbew women in which he lives with. When I go to drop off my son or he gets picked up my ex still degrades me by telling me I am "a b****, c***, he can not believe I have not tried to kill my self yet, I am a piece of sh**, I am worth nothing, he hopes my planes crashes and I die (when he picked up my son to see him before my son and I went away on vacation)., He never loved me, His new girlfriend is better then me, I am a bad mom, the list goes on. The last couple times I went to pick up my son he would not give him back I sat outside his house for a 1/2 hour trying and he kept calling me names telling me his new girlfriend is going to come outside and beat me up. Then his girlfriend gets into it with me on the phone. I do not think she even has a right to get into the middle. I am just sick of it at this point I mean it has been since March. Why can't he just let it go. He is just so hateful towards me and I can't understand why. I kicked him out because he was emotionally and physically abusing me in front of my son and I could not take it anymore (it happened for seven years ). He was also unfaithful, a liar, and would not work. After everything he has done to me all the threats and fear, the hurt and pain he caused me I forgive him and do not hold any resentment in my hear for him. I have let it all go. Why cant he. Why cant we just get along. I have moved on. It is making it hard on our son because he still has to see it. I do not want my son to turn out like him that is why I ended our relationship. I want my son to see his dad but not under these circumstances. What do I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 4:27pm

Report all of this, starting with the incidences of not turning your DS over at the designated time, to your legal team.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2004
Fri, 08-27-2004 - 8:15pm
Your ex sounds EXACTLY like mine. I've been separated for 3 yrs and officially divorced for 1yr now. I still have to deal with my ex on a weekly basis. He is just now starting to get over things. But for a long time I had problems with him calling me filthy names in front of the kids. There were times he even would push me down in front of the kids. I started to report each and every incident when he was physically abusive, but since he is a paramedic supervisor, he has a lot of cop buddies and nothing was done about it. But the good thing is after time, he started to accept things. (Although it took about 2 1/2 yrs). Now I just talk to him only when absolutely necessary, and I act like he just doesn't bother me. That's all they want, is the control. I know it's easier said than done, BUT DON'T LET HIM SEE YOU SWEAT...things WILL get better for you!