what do you make of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
what do you make of this?
3
Wed, 07-13-2005 - 11:18pm
I am just having a down moment. I haven't been sleeping well this past week. I just have thoughts going on. My dh works the swing shift. He starts at 3. He use to get off at 1130 BUT he has been working until 1230, or so he says. I really don't know. Its not like I have his paychecks to look at. He says he is getting an hour of over time. This has been going on for a few months now. I dont really think he is a cheater, but I don't know. For the last couple of months he has been spending time in the basement after he comes home from work, I asked what he did down there and first he said he was cleaning it. I pointed it out that it was clean. He then said he was smoking his cigars down there so I wouldnt smell it. I told him I did smell it though as it drifted up into our bedroom. He has put a lawn chair down there and there is four cigar butts lying next to his chair, but its just strange to me. He has never in the past cared where he smokes, we also have an air purifier in the living room so I mean he could turn that on if he was worried about the smell. I dont think thats it. I dont know what it is though, I can't put my finger on it. I am asleep when he gets home and so our the kids so he has the whole house to himself and I have never complained of the noise, as he really doesnt make that much noise. Its just strange to think he is sitting down in the basment looking at the washer and dryer all by himself without even a tv, just sitting there smoking and drinking his Natural Lights. Any thoughts on this? I guess its just strange as this is just new behavior and I don't know what to make of it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 7:24am

Hey there,

Don't know what he is doing down there, but please start making a plan in case something happens. Remember, you have been questioning him why he is down there. He now knows it bothers you, so he will probably do it more. Put some money away, gather vital documents and just be prepared just in case. All this might be nothing, but just take care of yourself and yours.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-07-2004
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 8:23am
He might just be doing it to bug you, but I did have an ex-husband who used to do stuff like that and he was looking at porn magazines and calling telephone sex lines. Just a thought, I might be way off base, it could just be as simple as him controlling you by making you worry about what he is doing down there. Be strong and try not to let it drive you crazy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2005
Thu, 07-14-2005 - 10:07am
I agree with the other 2 posters. He could just be doing it to get you worked up and to think he's doing something so you will confront him about it and give him a reason to go off on you. My H has done things like that before. Or he could be going down there and calling sex lines or possibly calling another girl. I would check your phone records or if you can get a hold of his cell phone and check the calls on there, or check the cell phone bill and look for calls being made at those times. Good luck and take care!