What do you think of this?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
What do you think of this?
15
Wed, 08-16-2006 - 11:07am
hi, ive posted on here before, but I need some advice and support.
I've been in a relationship for several years. When we first got together things were amazing, but a couple of years into the relationship, he began verbally attacking me, then after awhile it got physical (this is really hard to admit). He used to push me around and hit me for stupid things like I would get nervous when I drove and make mistakes or turn on the wrong street or exit and he'd hit me. Or one time he gave me something to put in the dryer for him and I forgot to check the pockets and his clothes got stained and he would hit me. He used to hit me a few times a week when I did something wrong. He constantly used to call me stupid and good for nothing. I believed him, and I still do.
Now it's been about 6 months since the last "attack" and he's stopped I can tell. Now that he's stopped the last 3 years are starting to take their toll on me. I live in constant anxiety and depression. I can't snap out of it, my heart is always pounding. I'm always nervous and I can't ever relax. I don't want to have sex anymore. My question is did I deserve to be verbally and physically attacked just because I did something stupid?
I have no self worth and I'm getting really desperate. When he asks what's wrong,I don't know what to tell him (I know its because of how things have been for the last few years)he doesn't want to talk about the past now that he's stopped being abusive, he says he didn't ever leave bruises, or he tells me not to dwell on the past.
My question is, Why am I just beginning to feel this now? When the abuse has stopped. I haven't admitted this to anyone, I'm too embaresed. the verbal attacks still occasionally occur (once every 3wks to month) it hasn't gotten physical in a long time, but I'm scared and I don't know what todo.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 11:12am
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who responded. You guys have no idea how much your responses are helping me. It feels really good to finally talk about it. Thank you for your support and wonderful advice.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2006
Mon, 08-21-2006 - 5:32pm

So I get on here, feeling low because of the hood rat that has diminished me to nothing..and I click on this thread and Rebecca's post comes up..

Just want to say- Rebecca, u rock. That post made my day.

Andrea

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Wed, 08-23-2006 - 9:29pm
Good! Re-read it any time you need too!

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2006
Sun, 08-27-2006 - 11:48pm

Hi Rosie,

Just thinking about you and wondering how you are making out?

Keep us posted.
Lauren

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2006
Mon, 08-28-2006 - 9:22am

Thank you lauren
Actually i'm kinda down today :-( , I talked to the doctor about the situation and she gave me the name of a good psychologist, hopefully she'll help me. I'm supposed to see the doctor later again this week.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks

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