what would you do???
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| Thu, 08-25-2005 - 12:54pm |
Hi, A dear friend of mine is in a abusive relationship.
She has been with him for 3 years and during their relationship, he puts her down constantly, lied to her cheated on her and occasionally man-handled her. Everytime when it gets real bad she comes running to me and tells me that she is going to leave him for good this time and that she had it enough. I always try to be supportive and encorage her to be strong and tells her that she deserves better... but she always end up taking him back or calling him herself a couple of days later.
One of reason she said that made it hard for her to leave him is her addiction to drugs. He supplys her with drugs and all his "connection" knows not to sell it to her because he told them not to. So one day she called me and told me that she is ready to leave him but asked me to do one thing for her.. which is to get the drugs for her...What should i do?? I know that her "addiction" with her boyfriend is intertwin with the addiction with drugs. I thought to myself that leaving him might be the first step for her. At least she is no longer under his control and we will deal with her drugs problem later. But I don't know..it just doesn't feel right... What would you do?? any input will be helpful thanks!

Welcome to the board Mermaid...
First of all, under ANY circumstance are you to buy her drugs for her.
I understand the consequences completely. I said no to her today and she had called me a hypocrite since I have done it myself in the past. She is also in therapy, but all they did was giving her more drugs. I told her to talk to other people who might be more helpful and not just give her "medicines". she pretty much just brushed me off... The bottom line is I am not going to get the drugs for her... since I fear that she is going to still be with him anyways, so it is really no use... she has to want to help her self first... I was naive to think that maybe getting her the drugs she might leave him for good so she doesn't feel like she has to rely on him. I can not just cut her off ..she is a dear friend of mine .. even though we had grown apart, I still care about her deeply. I will still try my best to direct her to get her life back on track. thanks again for reading my post.
Welcome mermaid and bless your heart for wanting to help your friend. Everyone has posted excellent replies to you so I won't repeat what has already been said so well.
Mama Harmony