What is wrong with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-26-2003
What is wrong with me
2
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 1:17am
I think that some of you may remember me (I use to be with the verbally abusive guy who asked for money all the time and when he didn't get it the abuse would start. The one who lied to me and messed with other females behind my back, had other girlfriends and met girls off of the internet too. The guy who is a felon and tells me I'll be nothing in life because he is going overseas in March 2 play football).

Well on September 13th he instant messaged me and asked me was I going to send him 950 dollars so he could get a tv for his car. I told him I cared about him but hated how he messed with girls behind my back and he was going to take that money and spend it on other girls. He said if I cared about him I would give him money and if I did give him money, everything between us would be good and I could be his girlfriend. Then after agruing he said I'm not a friend, I'm just "someone hating on the dirty." He also told me to leave him alone and not to talk to him until I give him money.

It's been 2 weeks and 2 weeks later the urge tto be with him is so strong. I haven't talked to him in two weeks. I deleted him from my buddy list but it's not helping. I end up putting him back on. I talked to a counselor but she did absolutely nothing. She told me things I already knew.

Am I experiencing ebb and flow? A major part of myself hates him...that's the part that wouldn't give him the money. Then that small part wants to go back to him. Same bu.sh. if I go back.

I like my friend but I don't even want to be with him because I keep thinking about Mr. Money. Also, I noticed that when I go out to parties I don't think about him. But I can't go to parties everyday!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 1:30pm
It just takes time. To get strong in yourself. I'm just curious , what did your counselor tell you? I think you are not happy with yourself, and I think you are looking for happiness outside yourself. If you were happy with yourself, what joy would you get out of even considering giving some one $950? It's like you are basically paying for his company, he's as much as told you that. But I don't mean to sound harsh, I used to be really unhappy with myself and I thought I needed some one, that I couldn't be alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Mon, 09-27-2004 - 1:31pm

Sweetie pie, he doesn't need televisions in his car and if he does "need" them, then he needs to find a way to pay for them other than harrassing you for the money.

CL-Blueliner4