Where is the line?
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Where is the line?
| Sat, 08-07-2004 - 12:31am |
I have been with the same man for 12 years. He is usually overmedicated and drunk. He does not work. Every night there is another drama. And per him it is all my fault. I am the "C" word, a cold heartless ****** Every night for the past week he has been impaired due to drinking and cannot remember what he says. Tonight he told me he wanted money for a hooker so he could have sex as I am "not giving him any." (I can't imagine why... he's such a turn on!)
Then he asked me how much money I would give him to get out of the house. When I told him 2/3 of everything in the bank he accused me of planning to get rid of him, he screamed, used the C word again and when I called my therapist he took the phone and told the DR I was lying. He refused to disengage the covnersation and when I left the house once and returned he met me at the door with a drawn knife. (using the excuse, Oh I didn't know who it was)
Finally he left the room I was in, but came back 4 times and whacked the chair I was sitting in saying "Oh, excuse me...gonna call the police now?" He shoves me with his chest and tests me.
He is clearly trying to intimidate me and I suspect he wants me to call the police so he can "react". He says he will disfigure me before they arrive.
Then he asked me how much money I would give him to get out of the house. When I told him 2/3 of everything in the bank he accused me of planning to get rid of him, he screamed, used the C word again and when I called my therapist he took the phone and told the DR I was lying. He refused to disengage the covnersation and when I left the house once and returned he met me at the door with a drawn knife. (using the excuse, Oh I didn't know who it was)
Finally he left the room I was in, but came back 4 times and whacked the chair I was sitting in saying "Oh, excuse me...gonna call the police now?" He shoves me with his chest and tests me.
He is clearly trying to intimidate me and I suspect he wants me to call the police so he can "react". He says he will disfigure me before they arrive.
Where is the line? He is careful not to hit me, but he is torturing me and blackmailing me. He keeps the phone out of my reach. I do not have a cell phone. He will not leave unless I cough up over twice what is in the bank. He demands all my 401K money.
At what point can I call the police? Most of my nights are spent locked in a room without a phone as I am afraid he will hurt me in my sleep.

Hi Coolcat, welcome -
You've been beyond the line for a while.
CL-Blueliner4
Yes, I agree, this has been too long. He has been arrested for abuse twice in 12 years and always manages ot beat the system. Not that the system here is an issue. In the city in which I live two women have been murdered by thier husbands so the police have a firm stand on taking action when requested. Last time was four years ago, and he still maintains I "made up" the charges. He was ordered a year probation and random urine testing. He would call the test place at 4"45 pm every day to see if he was scheduled to go in. If it was not his day he would start drinking and if it were he would drink until about 8:00 and then flush with cranberry juice. He actually pulled this off for six months and then went in and told the judge he had prostate trouble (which was untrue) and could not pee on command, so the judge let it go.
True to form, this morning it was MY fault. None of what I "think" happened last night really happened and it is all up to me to make it better.
He is handicapped and believes he is entitled to have me take care of him for the rest of his life. I understand his physical condition is not his fault, but I also understand it is not my responsibility to coddle his behaviors for the rest of my life.
As to family, I have an elderly mother who is in senior care and one brother. I cannot go to my brother, not because we are not close, but because his wife is terminally ill and I will not dump this on him. It is more than he could bear at the moment.
I am trying to think slowly and logically. Ideally I could walk out the door, find a small apartment that would take me and my cats (no kids) and default on the mortgage. Then he would be left with nothing, not even my monetary offer and he would be forced out on the street. I would ruin my credit, but I guess at this point credit is not as important as living free.
Thank you