Where is Winter? Sweets???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Where is Winter? Sweets???
Sun, 08-19-2012 - 7:17pm

where are Winter and Sweets???

Avatar for queen_brat
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 08-19-2012 - 9:21pm

(sigh) wish i knew

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Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 2:43pm

I wish they would check in as well.  The last time I talked with sweets she was coming to grips with the fact that there was very little that could be done regarding her health problems that were a result of abuse.  She was out of the abusive environment and safe at the time.  I haven't heard from her since and the phone that had her number in it died, so I have no way to contact her except through this board.

As far as winter, the last post is the last I've heard from her as well.  I know that her parents were having health problems and that she was having to spend time helping with them.  Her dd is also probably back in school by now or about to be, so she's all wrapped up in that.  I'm saddened by the fact that she made the choices that she did, but they are HER choices to make and it's her life.  Sometimes it takes a while for a person to choose to end the abuse in their lives, ESPECIALLY when a good bit of it comes from the child that you would walk through Hell for.  Hopefully, she and sweets will check in sometime and let us know how they are doing.  This is one of the frustrations of working on this board - some come and go and we never hear from them again and so have no idea if they are well or not.  But I've learned through the years that I have to let them go.  As members of this community, we offer our own experience, strength and hope to others.  And that is all that we can do.  Because we believe that personal EMPOWERMENT is the key to escaping from domestic abuse and rebuilding our lives, we have to let those go who make the choices to stay in the abusive relationship and hope for the best for them.  We don't forget them in our prayers, but we can't live our livew worrying and wondering about them either.  I know that sounds somewhat harsh, but they have made their choices and they are the ones who have to live with them.  We do the best we can and hope for the best.  It's all we can do.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Mon, 08-20-2012 - 2:53pm

thank you for that really nice post. Much appreciated.

I dont know why but I feel like I have been struggling with something for a few weeks now or I have lost  my mind or something. My ex as I have said has moved and rented out his house (used to be our marital home but no more)..Anyway; He called me to tell me that I had to get my stuff out of the house and I did that.. Well? I asked him what was going on and he said he was moving down South in with his gfriend.. I was puzzled because then after so many years of them not living together because of his abuse I thought why is she still around and now having him live with her?? Someone had told me he was abusive to her and why would that change??

Now I know what you all will say but it just kind of stung me for a minute to think that someone would purposely live with an abuser knowing they were one and take that chance after so many years... Same as your post somewhat.. People make these crazy choices .

Then I was thinking did I miss something?? I of course started to blame myself and think did he change all of a sudden and why would I care?
Just some random thoughts...