why can't I just sign the paper??

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
why can't I just sign the paper??
3
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 9:13pm
So I have the retainer agreement for my lawyer STILL sitting on my coffee table. What am I waiting for?? H is still at his parents. He was supposed to start DV program on Thursday and of course didn't bring the address and missed it entirely. Now he is supposed to start this week. His mom was trying to hook him up at the mental health services at the hospital she works at. They pretty much told her that his first step needs to be a DV program. Validation for me!!

He called on Sunday and the conversation was innocent enough but eventually he was trying to get out of me how I was feeling. I told him good, I don't feel like I'm suffocating. Then he said that he thinks we should both be more independent and not so dependent on each other??? I said he was the one who was dependent....I took care of all of his needs while he tended to none of mine. This went on which I know was a mistake... I finally just ended the conversation saying I just couldn't talk about it anymore. He's acting all touchy feely and I just find it annoying at this point. Then I start to think maybe he's serious, maybe I should believe in him. But he's saying all the things the "How to tell if he's changing" article mentions under the "He's not changing" section. You know the "Can't you tell how much I've changed" and "It's been almost three weeks now...what are you thinking?". I started to feel pressured again but at the same time just can't bring myself to say, "There will be no more chances. I'm filing for divorce."

I also spoke to a guy friend of mine... he's married and at one point seperated. I gave him some of the details, like what H said about my weight. He was shocked... his wife had gained a lot of weight and he said he never would have said anything. It didn't matter to him because he loved her. He also knows H and said that honestly nobody likes him and no one could understand how I put up with him. He works with us at the same company. I just left the company so I am free of that noose!

Sorry for the vent....I'm just feeling confused again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:14am

Honey, you need to stop talking with him.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 8:43pm
Well now I did sign the retainer agreement. I came home from work and was doing bills. It was sitting right there. I signed it!!! Now I just need to mail it back. Baby steps! I started my new job on Monday and have been sick since Tuesday. So I am giving myself a few more days to relax and then I will tell H that I am moving forward.

In response to the weight stuff.... I do need to lose weight however the verbal abuse and pressure was worse the more weight I lost! So in response I have gained 20 lbs over the last 7 months...however,since he's been gone I haven't had the urge to binge!! Funny how that works!

Now I am just trying to pick up the pace at karate and lose weight because I WANT to not because I HAVE to!

And even though I do need to lose weight I am still one good looking woman!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
Thu, 05-06-2004 - 1:13pm

Woo-hoo!

CL-Blueliner4