why I am suddenly not speaking up..

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
why I am suddenly not speaking up..
6
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 3:03pm

Not sure what's going on..is it the depression meds?

I find I am becoming more and more submissive, quiet and yes person..like for instance..he says do this, do that., clean this , clean that..and I dont have the guts to say 'no'..I find myself quietly doing whatever is asked.

why..why why? I do not know..I can't even retaliate..what's come over me. is it scare that he will blow up..but people say..let him..that is your ticket out..but then why I am so scared..of him. it is ridiculous.

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 9:13pm
..by the way I spoke up now when he said why i am not cleaning...I left..when I came back..everything in counter was in garbage..but nothing for which i can call police..just couple spice bottles, small blender,oil can..so this is how it is..if i speak up..he will do something..again i am scared to push it more.
Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Sat, 05-21-2011 - 9:53pm

Winter, I don't think this is a "sudden" or anti-depressant related new development.

Mama Harmony

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 12:34am

I have to agree with Cajunharmony.

Avatar for cajunharmony
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2001
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 8:05am
Fiss, the anti-depressants are new for winter and she has only been on them a couple of weeks. Most of the time you and I are in agreement, but on this one I disagree. Winter, if you feel like you're swimming underwater or wearing a warm wet wool blanket, let your doctor know, but don't give up on the anti-depressants. They DO work when you find the right one and the right dose, taken at the right time.

Mama Harmony

Avatar for winter2007
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2006
Sun, 05-22-2011 - 10:43am

I guess it is too early to say about the anti-depressant. I will continue to take them

Community Leader
Registered: 10-22-2001
Mon, 05-23-2011 - 2:28pm

I am really proud of you Winter.

Hope you are proud of yourself for taking that step.

It takes courage.I am on Anti-depressants myself.

So glad you are and are realising that they take time to work and sometimes need tweaking either the dosage or the medication itself.

Being scared is a good sign because you realize that this is not a good situation.

No matter what he throws out I hope you documented and personally I would have called the police and reported it because he had no right to do that ever.

You will FEEL such a sense of relief and peace when you leave.

By leaving you will feel "Empowered"...he can no longer control you, it will be your home.

They feel with fear and intimidation that they can control us, that our self-esteem and self-worth and self-confidence will be so low we will never escape.

But we can, you can Winter...I did.

I am so proud of myself.

You will be to.

He cannot touch you or damage your things.

They try to make us feel like garbage, like trash but we are more precious and as you get stronger you will begin to see him for what he is and what he has done.

He is the cause of your family's break-down not you.

My "Abusive" ex is responsible for our demise not me.

We can change them we can never "Please" them, ALL of that is not true.

Get out Winter before he destroys you.

You can do it.

Just believe in yourself.

A future for you and dd.

Nightangel