will i ever stop caring?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
will i ever stop caring?
3
Tue, 08-01-2006 - 11:49pm
UGH sooo as i may or may not have put in previous posts, my ex has been calling myself and my mom and not saying anything, using a calling card he had from work....so today im layin gon my couch and i get a call from a private number and when i answer i can hear him sobbing so i sad "_____ if this is you, just reply dont do this, and dont call my mom and harass her shes done nothing" and he starts crying about how he misses me and our dog and our neighbourhood and how hes lonely and doesnt know how all this happened and why it got so far and so bad and now were apart...and all i said was that it had been a long time coming and its over and done with we cant change the past but make our future better...then he starts blubbering, crying and then hangs up...and i FEEL BAD...not for him like oh poor guy but i just, feel bad for the young happy couple we were and still should have been...i went to a party theother night and the guy from work who likes me went too and he tried to make moves but it just wasnt right...i dunno...i just wish i could say 'f' you and laugh it off but i cant!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 4:05am

You "care" about the good times the two of you shared...but that is history and will never be again.

The fastest way to get over him is to remove him from your life...do not answer his phone calls, do not have any contact with him at all. It is your life...your phone, your home, and it is your right and decision who you allow into your life.

How the heck do I know? Because I traveled the same road you are on now. These personality types have a way of being perfect con artists...and they are masters at confusion and mind control. They brainwash you into thinking you cannot survive without them. They manipulate your thinking by focusing on their "personal pity parties", they do everything they can to draw you into their web of deceipt.

It is your choice...you cannot control anyone else, only yourself.

The few crumbs of content he tossed your way are not sufficient enough to create a healthy relationship. And, believe it or not, you deserve the whole loaf.

Until you accept the fact that you are a good person and deserve the best, you will continue to be his doormat.

If you let him move back in, the hell you experienced with him would start up again before the day was through....and, in your heart you know that.

He is using emotional blackmail....don't let him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 2:16pm
I always love how some abusers cry about their losses after they've run you off while still going on about me, me, me...I miss you, I miss the dog, I miss the neighborhood, I'm lonely, blah blah, blah. I, I, I, me, me, me. And especially about how they don't know HOW the loss happened. Please. Any concern about you? About what he did to you? About how you're affected by what he did to you? Or was it all about him? I know it's hard dealing with this kind of pain he's expressing and it's easy to feel bad for him, I mean, he is pathetic. But try to continue focusing on yourself. You are of the utmost importance and he sure ain't gonna be focusing on your well-being. He's too into himself. Good luck to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2004
Wed, 08-02-2006 - 8:46pm
i would never let him back in my life nor do i fall for his poor me crap...i just hate that right away i get that tugging in my heart thinking about the good times...i finally packed up all our photos of us and i looked at our wedding photo and i felt so sad, thinking how much hope i had at that time that we were the perfect couple, right out of a romance novel...but unfortunately were not and i kno that its just hard when i try to build a wall against all that and it crumbles so easily