Wish me luck!
Find a Conversation
| Thu, 01-11-2007 - 1:59am |
I can't sleep right now, have court tomorrow. The kids have met w/ the law guardian and no call from my lawyer so I'm hoping for no huge surprises. I believe that H has an apartment, but not sure. The law guardian did tell my oldest son that he would tell the judge he wanted to see H.
On top of that... Todays visit for the kids was not between the court appointed person, but I checked w/ the lawyer before agreeing to anything. I knew it would work this way once she was involved, no matter how briefly. My aunt was the one that was handling visits, she unfortunately has a full house and funeral arrangements to deal with. Her daughter handled transportation for tonight. He put on the works for her, tears welling up in his eyes. Once the kids were in the car w/ doors shut, he asked her "Doesn't she care?" Her response was "about the kids?" "Doesn't she care about what she's doing to me, about how I feel?" I can't take her completely at her word either, which is why i was skeptical of her doing this, but it's temporary. He claims to have no beds for the kids to sleep in, so he doesn't know if he'll be taking them overnight Friday. I'm glad he offered that bit, cause beds or not, I couldn't be kept from the opportunity to be w/ my kids if I saw them twice a week and feel it may look better for me considering he has all the money available to him. Our kids love to sleep in sleeping bags and we've set up tents in the living room for winter camp outs, so why is this a problem? Never mind, it's all crud! The kids were telling me he bought new pillows, and he never took any blankets, he's staying at the furnished place I thought he was before.
Thankyou again and again if you made it through this! My irrational thinking, preparing for anything. I hope this goes away as I have less and less contact w/ him. I'm hoping that tomorrow will get a visitation schedule so that this doesn't continue to be an issue.
Carrie

Pages
Good Luck today Carrie! :o) Please let us know how you make out.
Lauren
Love you, sweetie!
I hope it went well today.
I know it's tough to let new of him and his idiocy (all about him again, right) pass, but have you considered saying to his suck-ups, "I don't want to hear about it and I don't like him bring others into my business."
Or something equally as startling. They're trying to put you on the spot and guilt you. If they like him so much....
Hang in there!
C.
Hi Carrie,
Hope all went well!!!! Let go of what others say, there's asaying I like "what others think of me is none of my business".
Take care and hugs!
Beth
Hey Carrie - let us know how you made out - we're all in your corner...
Rose
Thanks for all the support everyone! It wasn't too bad. He're's what was agreed on at the last visit.
-Stay away order still in effect for me all the time, kids and their school campuses, home and 1500 ft. He can come in the driveway Friday @ 6pm, to pick up the kids and drop them off Sunday @ 4pm. He can't come in the house.
-He's allowed one visit back to pick up things decided by our lawyers ahead of time, @ a time agreed to by our lawyers, nothing in litigation
There's a few flaws, I'll have to work out w/ the lawyer. I agreed before appearing in front of the judge to allow H another trip into the house, but because all previous visits included an officer. They wouldn't agree to that and even when the judge asked if H would be escorted, H's lawyer said no, I turned to my lawyer and shook my head NO! But he agreed anyway. I'll have someone here w/ me when it's set up. no biggy. When H's lawyer said he would not enter the home, my lawyer says he's not to leave the driveway, agreed. 5:58 tonight I'm taking one more bag out to the porch for the kids to carry out when he comes and the other bags are gone! That freaking cocky arrogant SOB came in on the front porch! 13yr old DD went out to see him for a minute, although she declined going w/ him, comes in and says he took the stuff off the porch cause he beeped and beeped and noone came out. BS!!! I was 4 feet from the front door. Let me know if I'm making too much out of this, but he also let DD in the gatage door using the opener he still has, and shut it when she was in. It felt like a reminder from him. He could and did come on the front porch, cause really, can I call the cops and say, he came on the porch and took their bags, oh and he opened a door. Even though the order was specific about him being in the driveway, he just had to push, bot not by anything I could prove. I knew it! I knew he would do this! He'll keep pushing little by little, I'll have to call the cops on him in front of my kids.
I really meant to just list the changes, sorry.
Carrie
Carrie,
He's going to push and push....you're right. He knows you don't want to call cops in front of kids so he's putting you in that position ....
You're doing great-look at how much you've done in the last few weeks!!!!!OMG!!! Give yourself huge pat on the back.
Beth
I shouldn't be surprised. I expected him to get to coming towards the front door, but not the 1st night. He knows I couldn't prove it to a cop. I was really hopeful it wouldn't be just yet cause he followed the R/O earlier. He'll get more confident, he won't be able to keep from showing me and putting me in my place, especially since I'm in "His" home and he's paying all the bills. He'll try something else, soon.
I'm praying for my kids tonight. He was always so good to them, but not about me. They're w/ him for 2 days, I really hope he's just going to keep us out of it. I know it's unlikely. At least I already have counseling lined up
Hey Beth, haven't noticed any new discussions from you! How are you doing? How's work going? There were some problems w/ that, but what were they or can't you say?
Thanks for the support, yet again! Take care!
Carrie
Carrie couldn't you call the cops to even mention the bags of his stuff - your DD saw him take them. I almost think you should just to show him this RO is serious business. What would happen to him if you did? Would he get his wrist slapped or something worse? Maybe you could call your DV advocate and ask. The last thing you need right now is him getting more confident!
Also - do you have a security system in your house? If not you should get one. Even if it is not linked to the police station you still have an alarm that will let you know anytime a door is opened or closed and it sounds like something like that would be handy for you.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this but I am amazed at what a fantastic job you are doing.
You go girl!
Rose
Any plans for your solo weekend? Pedicure, chick flick, delictable food, nice bottle of wine, sleeping in.... or all of the above?
Our local cop is the one that didn't bother to file an incident report, and allowed him in w/ black bags and didn't monitor him taking things even though the order stated nothing in litigation. I'm probably screwed as far as calling our local PD, since our county DV advocate is going to be on his butt about that and probably shoving training down his throat! She's in charge of that for our county as well. My lawyer told me not even to call local PD, request county sheriffs if I have a problem. Sent lawyer an email.
I tacked up our garage door opener that hung in the garage, so the older kids wouldn't decide to use it, locked the manual lock. If he decides to open the door w/ his remote again, it'll break the door and opener, I'm ready to play. BTW, pulled the van in his garage side so he can't get into it. I'm changing the locks, since he won't know having not tried to get into the property he restrained from, legally! I'll do that tomorrow, w/ his tools, oh wait, OUR tools. Wait, MINE, possesion is 9/10ths! Ok, I'm kidding about that, but seriously getting irritated w/ his games. I AM changing the locks until I'm told my a judge he can come in, I'll leave. The kids are gone for the weekend, perfect timing.
Weekend plans... Got pizza for myself and 2 oldest DD's tonight, 4 younger ones are w/ fathers. Take down the tree (overdue), B-ball and indoor soccer for DD, older one's on call for work, I'm giving myself a french manicure and cleaning. What about you? Thanks for your support. There is no way I'm looking back now, unfortunately cause I've been here before, I know once I call the cops, I'm done, I don't feel sorry for them.
Carrie
Ooooooh ... it sounds like "game on" for you! Be sure to let us know if you end up with a broken garage door. i would have no idea how to do that --are you related to Macgyver?! Pizza and kids activities sound good to me. You are having a girls weekend with your DD's!
My 4 yr old is turning five next week so we are having a b-day party for her on Sunday. It is at a children's Museum and H actually asked me if he had to come because he 'hates' that kind of stuff (because most of the parents stick around and I think he thinks he is above them in some way!). The fact that he doesn't want to go is just so in-character for him - this is the same guy who is insisting on 50% custody!!! I expect that arrangement would last one week max! He has no patience at all! (gee do you think he might be financially motivated?
Anyway - hockey for4yr old DD tomorrow and then b-day party prep for Sunday - Fun fun fun!
Have a great weekend!
Rose
Pages