I often wonder also if my ex is abusing his new gfriend and why would I care?
Just a thought..it is better that all of your abusive Ex's have found other women..since that means they will let you go and you can start to live the life you want. You are much much safer this way. About whether he abuses them too, it is 99% that they will abuse them - verbally/emotionally. Abusers dont change spots..they just change their tactics. Few men may change, but most don't. Just be happy that they are over you..and if you were married, just use your energy in getting CS/SS out so that you can decide on the divorce settlement. Maybe he will be more agreeable to custody and such if he has other interests. A neigbor whose H left (he cheated on her) pretty much left the whole house, half his pension to his ex-wife and kids..since he just wanted to be with this 27 year old..
(Guess there is a bright side to everything).
OMG, I think of what he's doing and who he is with all the freaking time and I hate myself for it. Did he finally change? Is he treating her how I begged begged begged to be treated? What lies is he saying about me and while all of a sudden he changed his number..is he buying HER stuff? And I realize it's because I have no social life at all. And I wonder how he could just move on so quickly. Just Saturday he wanted to 'get thru all this' and be with me and it has been silent since. I hate the silence. I just try to remember how much it sucks with him.
I cant wish I never met him, because of my 1 year old. I just wish he wasn't her dad.
"If you've reached a state of apathy, you don't care, one way or the
other, if they are alive or not. They no longer mean a darned thing to
you. That comparison came from Dr. Leo Buscaglia, by the way, in a book
of his I read about Love. It really stuck with me. It's a pretty good
sign when a domestic abuse survivor realizes she just doesn't give a
flying fig newton anymore. And that's a pretty darned good place to be."
Gosh - this is exactly where I am. I don't love, I don't hate. I am just apathetic. yes, if he doesn't come home, I will call the police just to file a missing person report. Other than that, I just dont care. I honestly want him to go cheat or find other woman..so he can let me be.
Does this mean I am in a good place? The only reason I can't take that step is I am afraid of DD's reaction to all this. Afraid to start anything that I may not be able to handle. Divorce/finances..all that stuff. Is there a way out? Only way would be to strong and believe..or try to talk to DD again to come. She is so full of her HS anxiety and stress she doesn't want to hear anything.
I know how you feel but trust me your ex will abuse the next victim and so on. I know how hard this is because I went through the same thing. The minute I walked out the door from abuse my ex had a new victim (I mean gfriend) ,, When I first initially left I went to a hotel and ex stalked me and stalked me for months.. I did think he would harm me but he didnt. I stayed away in another state for like 15 months. Ex found me there and continued on stalking and harassing me and on and on. Well? After a bit he sort of gave up and mailed me divorce papers that were so bogus.. So what I did was arm myself with education; information and a host of other things to stand up once and for all to the bully; the enemy as they say.. So I was out of the marital property for atleast three years and then lo and behold I had to go back and get divorced and get a settlement. So here I went back to live with ex because nothing was finalized because I just ran ..So I took a room in the house and ex did not bother me because he had his new victim. I lived my life and he lived his.. I wouldnt recommend this to anyone but its what I did cause I finally wanted to get out and I wanted my settlement and I wanted the divorce and on and on. This lasted for about a year and half and it did hurt at times I didnt care what ex did and what happened to him..
I agree with Freeatlast.........this is a normal reaction, but it's also holding you in the past, instead of letting you move on with your life.