Worried if dh finds out I'm in therapy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2003
Worried if dh finds out I'm in therapy
11
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 12:34am

Hello ladies,

I'm getting closer, and closer to my 1st counseling appointment, but I face this dilemma. Our HMO covers my visits with the counselor at the Domestic Violence center, however if I go that route, I'm afraid my dh will find out since he is the primary insurance holder and that will just give him more fuel in proving he was right all along that I need mental help, and that I need to see someone just like he does. I couldn't stand his smugness, I feel as if I would play right into his hands. I posted a few days ago how he suggested I start taking medication for my depression etc. He half joked about it again over the weekend saying why don't I just give you one of my paxil pills right now. I guess he noticed this was the first time I just acted disengaged, so that was probably his way of trying to get some reaction out of me, but I just ignored it all.....

I do realize that I need to see someone who will give me the help and support that I need for my own happiness and mental health.

The other option is that I pay out of my own pocket, but the problem is he controls all the money, so it'd be very difficult for me to go that route as well.

When I mentioned this to the counselor at the Domestic Violence Center she actually acted a little surprised to hear that I didn't want my husband to know I was going for counseling. Her reaction bothered me a little bit, because I then felt I was being childish and paranoid about this.

I wish I could tell him, yes I am going to counseling becaue your behavior has contributed how I act today, but then I would just be doing the same thing he does, blaming the other person, where the only person I have to blame is myself for dealing with this so long....

I would appreciate any advice anyone might have!

Thanks,

Diana

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2005
Thu, 05-05-2005 - 3:35pm
Thats wonderful Diana!
5yrssm 

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