A Worried Mother
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| Tue, 06-01-2004 - 2:57pm |
My 22 year old daughter married her abusive husband one month ago today. One week ago today she called me from Texas in the hospital. I got her a plane ticket and she was home in Georgia by the next morning. As far as I know this was, at the very least, the 3rd time he has beaten her. The day after coming home she started trying to call him (he was in jail for one day, plead guilty to assault, then was bailed out by friends). She is now waiting for him to send her money to get back to him. I have talked to her until I have almost made myself sick and she is mad at me, trying to convince her not to go back to him. I am so afraid he is going to kill her.
He's left messages on my cell phone that when he gets her back I will never see her or talk to her again. I believe him.
What can I do? Is there anything I can do to save her? She now believes that he won't ever beat her again and she "loves" him. She says she has to give her marriage a chance.
She had a miscarriage and he beat her the next day because he was so "sad and disappointed". I don't understand why anyone wants to live like this and risk their life. Anyone who loves you would NEVER hit you!!! Why can't she see this?
I know that she has to make the decision to leave him and stay away for good. I am trying to make sure that when she goes back with him she is prepared with a safety plan, but I am afraid that she doesn't think that she needs a safety plan - remember she believes that he won't do it again.
Are there any support groups for mothers of daughters abused by their husbands? Are there any books I should read?
GrammySmocks

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You and your daughter are still in my prayers. I've been thinking of you all day and wondering if she got on that bus last night after all.
I personally have given my daughter's situation over to God, as that is the only way I can find any peace in my life right now. Her boyfriend is calling night and day with no regard for anyone's sleep or sanity. It's really difficult to understand why she can't see the light at this point.
I guess she'll be leaving in the next couple of days too, so all we can do now is wait for them to come back to us.
I've started a letter that I am going to send to all of the police and sheriff offices in the area where my daughter lives. I'm explaining about the situation of abuse, enclosing a picture of my daughter and her husband, giving auto license plate number and description, address, phone number, etc. Since her husband always hides her ID and important documents, the law enforcement community will now have information in case she lands in the hospital (or worse) with no ID and not able to communicate. I live 800 miles away from her and she has no family there at all - only HIS friends and family.
Does this sound like a good (or bad) idea?
GrammySmocks
Good idea, but I don't think this is going to work.
Since she's over 18, she is considered an adult.
CL-Blueliner4
Is this considered imprisonment? Is there anything I can do from 800 miles away?
Other than calling the police and asking them, I really can't give you an answer to this question.
CL-Blueliner4
Sounds like imprisonment to me, if only your daughter would admit it and press charges.
Tofumommy
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