yells if I don't agree on things

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
yells if I don't agree on things
Mon, 02-13-2006 - 11:38am

I am still living with the "is it me or him" question. I know I am not the easiest person to live with. When I am pms'ing I call him all the names in the book. I just can never get over the hump of I am not sure it's me or if the problem is him. It's been so long since we have agreed on anything. I normally just withdraw from him because I know if I disagree, I will have to hear his reasons why he is right for the next three or four hours. We can never get into the car without having an argument. This just bothers me because it's right in front of the kids. I tell him to stop it but he tells me he has to explain why he is right and why I am wrong. I am just so tired. Lately I have just felt so alone. Of course this has been happening for years and family and friends really do not wnat to hear it anymore and I can't say I blame them. I still feel like I love him very much at times too. I don't know if it's just me feeling so alone all the time is why I feel that way. There is no physical trouble just verbal. I know deep in my heart if things got real bad he may be capable of being physical. Not just him, I feel like I could punch his face in! He is just a hard person to get along with. I know he would give me such a hard time regarding the kids, house, etc. It just doesn't seem worth battling with him. It's easier for me to shut up. It's just so hard never being able to say what I want to say. If I tell him my dreams and hopes for the future he says he doesn't want to hear it. I don't understand even if they are out of reach, why can't someone have dreams and hopes?? Financial things just stress him out. I'm not good with money so I can not talk money with he because he thinks I don't know what I am talking about. He doesn't want to take me on vacations or weekends anymore, and he never sleeps with me, he sleeps on the couch. He is good to the kids, takes them camping all the time, etc. I just feel left out of things alot.

Thanks for letting me vent!