yesterday's court

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2004
yesterday's court
2
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 12:05am

Update:

AHL was there with mummi daring to show his face after taking all of the money. His excuse? 'She has the car, I am entitled to it'. Where is the logic? The car has a loan on it in my name??? Concerning the so called 'State support' to pay his court fees, the judge told him that if he didn't rescend the request for support, he would file a report with the police. Other than that, there was only mild scolding about taking all the money. The lawyer said it would be considered in the division of property. Ya, sure, I am so tired of this I don't care anymore.

Some of the highlights were when he was asked if he would criticize and insult my mother. His answer: 'not regularly'. When asked if I was required to ask him anytime I wanted to withdraw money or wanted to purchase something, his answer was 'absolutely not!' Then a few moments later 'I just expected her to tell me anytime she wanted to withdraw money or wanted to purchase something'. Um, ok. When asked if he drank, he said never. Oh, my mistake. It was punch in those beer bottles and the tequila and vodka bottles are filled with apple juice and water. When asked about some of the violent situations I had described, they became situations where he tried to talk to me calmly and I just got all out of control by arguing with him. The time he broke my rib by hitting me, then kicking me while I was on the floor until I gave him the car keys, he described as 'she argued with me (um, it was pleading to not be angry) and I got a bit upset so kicked her. But then I helped her up off the floor and everything was ok' Oh, I don't remember ANY helping hands that night. And he disappeared to 8am the next morning. Whatever. The time I said he pointed a gun at my head, he claimed I pointed it at my own head. Everything was turned around or outright denied.

The judge got angry and started putting pressure on me to accept an agreement that very session. He then offered a 50/50 split of the property (however that can be done now), I get full custody, and he can see him for 1 week in the summer without supervision. Now keep in mind that while AHL did say he was willing to let me have full custody (that really took a load off my mind too) he was protesting to the 1 week offer. Anyway, the lawyer asked me if I would accept (we stepped out of the court room to talk). I said I was really tempted because I am so worn of this, but that I couldn't make such an important discision about my son in minutes time. I needed to think about possible consequences. Could he give me till next week? The lawyer understood and the judge was irritated that I didn't offer. I mean, I wanted to talk to the child welfare service people as well and get their guidance about what is the best for a 5 year old and some advice from counselor's if I should be able to trust this guy. The judge later pressured the other lawyer to make a settlement, claiming that this was a 'war of the roses'. Ok, AHL ain't no rose. And I certainly am not trying to usurp any thrones. For me it isn't about power, its about what is best for my son. I am even willing to forget about the huge amount of money he has taken just to move on. I think the judge is just getting irritated about wasting time with TWO foreigners and wants this off his desk now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 12:10am
What a JERK the judge is! & good for YOU telling them you need time to make such a huge decision. Good luck!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-14-2003
Thu, 03-10-2005 - 3:10pm

Lucky, can you 1) request a different judge or 2) appeal? Checks and balances exist for reasons like this, when the "justice" system is not interested in justice.

Take care of yourself.