You Have Rights

Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
You Have Rights
5
Mon, 05-03-2004 - 10:42pm
Hello Lovely Ladies! I think of you each and every day. I owe SO much of my freedom to this board and the wise women that share their stories and insight here. My first visit to this board was in September of 2002; my post was entitled "Lost Soul". I was with my abuser for just shy of ten years and married for a little more than seven. My relationship had all of the classic elements of abuse (http://www.ci.kent.wa.us/DomesticViolence/GeneralInfo/Wheel.htm); including physical violence and still I tried for many years to "save it". When my abuser took his abuse one step further and assaulted me in front of my five year old daughter, the lightbulb finally went on for me and I found the courage to take action. I filed a police report against him that day (July 6, 2002) for DV assault; DV threat to kill. He was convicted criminally and has a misdemeanor assault charge on his record that will never wipe away. Of-course, we also divorced (June 2003); so I am approaching my one-year divorce milestone here shortly. I intend to post some reflections on this past year as I get a bit nearer to that date.

As many of you know, I also chose to file a civil lawsuit against my X. I cannot speak to this suit at present since it is "in process". ALL victims of assault (any assault) have the right under the law to prosecute their perpetrator both criminally and civilly. Unfortunately, most women who find themselves in our situation can ill-afford the legal fees that go along with a civil lawsuit. HOWEVER, once there is a criminal conviction, almost any personal injury lawyer will take your civil case on contingency. This means that they will work for free and take their fee at the end. The reason they will take it on contingency WITH a criminal conviction against the perpetrator is because this creates an "automatic" judgment. In other words, a criminal conviction ASSURES a civil judgment because the crime has already been established. Now, it is just a question as to what the judgment is worth in monetary damages. A jury will decide this; unless, of-course, it goes into default (perpetrator does not show or respond to the lawsuit) in which case a Judge rules on the damage amount (sum of the awarded lawsuit).

I was lucky enough to find a non-profit organization in my area that assists women of domestic violence in entering and prosecuting civil lawsuits against their abusers (www.neveragainfoundation.com) Check out their crime victim's rights video and understand the various options that our legal system provides for victim's of Domestic Violence.

I went to a hearing last week for a women who was with her abuser for just about a year; during which time he assaulted and abused her many times. The abuser ignored the lawsuit and it went into default. At the default hearing, she was awarded $500,000 compensatory damages and $500,000 punitive damages. There wasn't a dry eye in the courtroom. I felt overwhelmed by the sense of justice this ruling created for me, the DV advocates attending, other victims, etc... Although money cannot provide healing, telling your story aloud and being awarded a judgment can be a very healing process. Each women must decide for herself whether or not this is a viable option for them.

~~gentle hugs and support your way

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-22-2004
In reply to: azmommy35
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:37pm
just wanted to move this back up so it isn't overlooked.

mel

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2003
In reply to: azmommy35
Tue, 05-04-2004 - 1:47pm

AZ, thanks for posting this.

CL-Blueliner4

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
In reply to: azmommy35
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 12:56am
Azmommy, you are a pioneer. Thank you for doing this for all women and all victims of domestic violence. What a wonderful project. There should be publicity. Why am I not reading about this in major magazines and newspapers?

I believe that some high-profile civil suits, with big money damages awarded, followed by publicity, could eventually have a deterrent effect on some abusers.

Please stay in touch here. I sure do want to know how your project goes.

Avatar for azmommy35
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
In reply to: azmommy35
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 1:26am
Hi there. You make an EXCELLENT point re: the publicity of such DV civil action. This is yet another reason for civil prosecution. When I prosecuted my X criminally, I was not even being represented. In other words, it was the State of Arizona that was prosecuting my X and my interests were cursory at best. During this criminal preceding there was no media, no articles in the paper, etc.. The same is true for most victims who end up prosecuting criminally. HOWEVER, large civil judgments accomplish EXACTLY what you refer to -- ATTENTION. When Patty Lumpkins was held under water by her, then husband, and was subsequently pistol whipped in the forehead, not a single newspaper printed her story. When she was awarded a $1.5M civil judgment, every single paper in the State of Arizona picked up the story -- front page. There was some National coverage too. One major step toward prevention is making the topic public. I definitely want to help pave this road. ~~thanks for the kind words, your support and your great insight; hugs!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: azmommy35
Wed, 05-05-2004 - 11:08pm

Hi azmommy���thanks so much for sharing this with us.

When someone shows you who they are, believe them.

- Maya Angelou