To the young and not so sure!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2003
To the young and not so sure!!
7
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 10:48am
This is a note to the young people on the board to please read all of the posts on the board and really listen to people and take their advice. I wish there could have been something like this wonderful board when I was 20 years old! Please don't wake up one morning at 40, with three kids and say "OMG---What have I done???" If you worry at all about what your partners, parents, etc think and never really do what you want in life, you may as well turn your entire life over to that person for the rest of your life because they will be making all of the decisions for you!! It will only get worse.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:15am

I hear you loud and clear! But when you're that young, you KNOW EVERYTHING! Can't tell anybody anything! I remember my mother looking at me and telling me "your crazy". So how could that be? My father was the greatest guy! Why wouldn't she be happy in marriage? I blew it and got married at 19 only to find myself divorced at 47 with a 15 yr. old dd. Twenty-six years of marriage, mostly entirely unhappy. Half of my life gone on making somebody else happy while I was miserable. HE was always in control and I let it happen because I thought that that's what it was suppose to be. But now I'm FREE!!!!

And guess what? I've got the other half to live and I'll be damned if I'm going to have anybody tell me what to do, how to do it, when to do it, etc. I'M IN CONTROL NOW!

Happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 11:15am
Here Here! SO TRUE! I wish i had listened to my family ... to my freinds ... to my GUT INSTINCT. R~

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2001
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 12:24pm

Hi Ladies, you are just babies yourself. I am 58 (and proud of it, did I say that?)). See what happens when you can come here for people with common sense. I have been thinking a lot why am I here. I know what normal is and looking back it wasn't normal or I wouldn't be here right? You start to think back why didn't it work, how could I have been different. I realize I was never really happy because of him. So where I am must be for a reason. I now go back and pick out all the wonderful things from that past and nothing includes him. Really nice to see all of you here, be safe.

Luv Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 1:27pm

Hi Sherry!

We're all proud of ourselves no matter what age, right? Look what we've been through and survived and we're still sane (I think!).

Isn't it hard picking out things from the past. I have a really tough time remembering right now!

We're all got sort of a sisterhood here!! Is really quite nice!

Take care,
Happy

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2004
Thu, 03-03-2005 - 1:31pm
hi everyone, I agree with you all, I myself am only 22 and getting out from a abusive marriage. It all comes down with listening to your heart and soul. My gut was always right but i ignored it and it got me into this mess. If you can get out early, than by all means get out!!! I know for a fact if it wasen't for this board I would have not had the stength and courage to get out, this board has saved my life. It scares me to death to think what would happen if i stayed with the man and went on to have kids and be unhappy for the rest of my life, trapped in his abuse. Im still not out totally, but so close, and it makes me so happy to think i will be out. No matter how much $$ you have, if you have kids, whatever, just get out, find it in you to save yourself, even if your 16, 50 whatever, it really doesnt matter how old you are, just go and don't look back. Good post by the way =)
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-12-2001
Fri, 03-04-2005 - 8:22am

Hi Happy, happy Friday. You will be surprised when you take to people about the past. I have been doing this with Mom, on good days, and I just think about it and erase him from the picture. And it is quite nice, really. Every once in a while I lift my head out of the haze and see the real world. Is that how it is sometimes, do you feel like you are just here going through the motions and take a look at really being happy and want to grab it, don't slip back into the haze? I sometimes (or when I was a lot younger I was so happy) I feel the happiness for a moment and then it is gone. For all the years that I have passed I feel like it was a crime to be happy. I feel inside myself if I try to be happy that I make a fool of myself. Is this making any sense? Hope you are off to a great day, be safe.

Lov, Sherry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-07-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 7:20pm
SO TRUE! I am 23 and getting out of an emotionally abusive one year relationship with my bf. Reading the posts and the responses I get are keeping me strong.