iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2001
Fri, 05-17-2013 - 6:42am

HI ! I have a question. CAssi has a little girlfriend that lives right behind us on the next street. She wants to have a playdate over house and both of them have been asking for long time. I keep on saying "NO". The girl is nice andshe has come over to play with her. The problem is her father works with my brother and the girls dad has been saying that he smokes pot and it just him that said it. And he wears a shirt that say something like he loves to smoke pot. I dont want her over there just for that reason. My brother said to me that the   dad is spreading the rumors about himself and he saw the t shirt.  I have talk to the girl mom and she seems nice and so does the dad. I just dont know if the rumors are true but I also dont know how to tell Cassi that she cant go over there . We really havent had the talk about drugs . But do I ask them if they smoke . She was in tears last night becasue she wanted to play with her and that it wasnt fair that she couldnt go over there and play.  I told her that her arm is broken and that she needs to be careful about it and when it gets better maybe she can go over . But I hate to lie to my kids but I really dont want her over there. I had never seen him smoke either. Any suggestions?


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-1999
Fri, 05-17-2013 - 7:24am

That is a tough one!  Can you encourage them to keep playing at your house? Or let her go over there when the mom is just home? That is very confusing!  Hugs! 

Avatar for lizmvr
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2001
Tue, 05-21-2013 - 1:21pm
I think you need to start spending more time with the other family and then make your own decision, not just based on rumors. Have you seen the t-shirt? If you have and the t-shirt makes you feel like the dad would be encouraging of drug use, explain that to your daughter. Tell her that you've seen this shirt and don't think it's appropriate for her to be around others that would wear that. You don't have to dive into a huge conversation about all drugs, but that this type of clothing is inappropriate attire. I would still be open to having the other girl play at your house, and yes, encourage that!


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