Church dilemma- Christians i need your prayers and advice please

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2011
Church dilemma- Christians i need your prayers and advice please
6
Mon, 06-13-2011 - 12:57pm
My husband and I have a wonderful relationship. We truly are bestfriends! We've been married almost 11 months with only one problem, what church we will attend together as a family. I requested help from fellow Christians because as you know the Bible states that the woman shall follow her husband but I'm having a very difficult time with that. I was born and raised in my church. All of my family attends my church not to mention all my extended family. I get what I need spiritually from my church, my husband states he does not. My husband has been going to his church for 5 years and he really loves it and gets everything he needs spiritually. He knows no one in this church other than the pastor who did our pre-marriage counselling, his wife and maybe a couple more people in this huge mega-church. His church is different from my church and honestly, I just don't feel comfortable there. I've given it a try despite what my husband believes and there is no change. When I say I've given it a try that means I've attended service when not working. My husband does not believe I've tried hard enough because I'm not involved enough and don't attend bible study, maybe he's right. I've prayed for answers and I'm patiently waiting but my husband has had it with my waiting. I honestly don't know what to do. I know what the Bible says but I know what my heart says ......so torn and very sad. I'm afraid that this could be the end of my marriage if I don't "cave" and join his church. My husband wants us to go talk to the couple who provided our pre-martial counselling but I feel like its gonna be 3 against one. I love him so much, maybe I will just join. I'm willing to leave my church so that we can find a church home together but he feels that God wants him at that particular church.

Lost and confused, help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Hi there sweety!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2011
Wow, thank you so much for sharing. Your words are just what I needed. I never thought of it quite like that. I believe my husband has been trying to explain that to me however the message just didn't come across red same. I will continue to pray about it and ask for the courage and strength to "cut the cord. "

I want to congratulate you on your 15 1/2 years of marriage and children. I so badly want the same. Many blessings to you and yours.
Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004

Bliss,

My husband and I have had lots of experience changing churches via our professions which required us to move every few years. Neither one of us has been able to attend our "family church" as we no longer live where we were born and raised, and likely never will. So, we've had to be pragmatic about this experience.

Here's what we've learned over the years as we've adapted to new churches.

1)Choosing a church

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2011
Thank you for taking the time to respond. I would like to experience finding a church home where we both are happy but my husband is quite set on this church.

I believe I will look up a Christian marriage counselor because I really don't feel comfortable speaking to the couple from his church.

I'm not sure if I should feel this way but I feel like my husband doesn't care about my feelings. I understand what the Bible says but we have done plenty wrong in our life so I don't understand why he can't budge on this one thing when I'm obviously so unhappy.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003

Try to find one thing or one person or one Bible study at his church that you do like.

Robin

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Hi and Welcome! I am so glad you found us! I see you have been given great support and encouragement from the previous posters. I will be praying for the Lord to give you wisdom, discernment and guidance. Keep us updated on how things are going.

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