from Fantasy to Reality

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
from Fantasy to Reality
11
Tue, 10-25-2011 - 12:23pm

My women's conference last night was about going from fantasy to reality... Realizing life isn't like a cinderella story and instead it take work. I was thinking, i'm all about hard work or doing the hard work AND praising God in the tough times... and hope being my anchor.

But i still want the fantasy... hahaha. In reality, i've had 5 children. I know it was hard work birthing them and raising them. But i still want to see us all "get along"... i support the message was about having a balance of reality and yet still expecting ourselves to grow in the lord. I understand life isn't all rosey, but i expect perserverence from my children, myself, and especially my fiance.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-25-2011 - 1:47pm
Honey I will be praying about this for you but I believe this should be a big red flag. When God sends that feeling that things aren't adding up, its for your protection. ((HUG)) Its not asking too much for honesty. If you don't start with honesty, your foundation will not be solid.

Robin

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 10:20am
I will be praying. I will pray for guidance and discernment. I agree with Robin, honesty is not asking too much.

Thanks so much for sharing about fantasy and reality. It really gives me something to think and pray about! Hugs!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 10:31am

feeling so frustrated today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 10:41am
(((((((((BIG HUG)))))))) I hear your frustration sister. Rightly so, sound like he can talk the talk but doesn't want to walk the walk. He needs to deal with whatever wall it is that is between him & God. Its a much bigger than issue than you. Proverbs 4:6-7
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. (NIV)

I'll keep praying for him and for you. Blessings my friend.

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 10:50am

thank you

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Sat, 10-29-2011 - 12:06pm
I would feel very frustrated too! I agree with Robin, he needs to deal with whatever is holding him back in his relationship with the Lord. Praying for you! Hugs!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Sun, 10-30-2011 - 7:19pm

next question then... what do i do while he deals with that?

I feel like i can't be with him. It is so hard to be "normal" because i feel like that gives him permission to not do the hard work. kwim.

the whole situation reminds me of codependency. but he isn't doing drugs and isn't shoving me.... it isn't of that serious nature... BUT then again, one's own salvation could be considered a serious issue.

Anyway this comes back to a sermon I heard not too long ago. "how long halt ye between two opinions. if god be god, then follow him. If Baal, then follow him". This sermon really convicted me. Along with that one the pastor talked about the lukewarm being thrown up. And again, i felt like i don't want to be luke warm. If i was luke warm in the past then i repent and i make a new decision to be on fire for God. To go after Him with my everything....

After that sermon, i told my desire to my fiance. He said he was on board too... but his actions seem more luke warm to me. I gave him my book "40 days of purpose". He's on day 30 and yet, i don't see any changes. ya know, when someone has gotten on fire for God, it is noticable, right.... When i've asked him about it, he says I sound cryptic and he doesn't know what i mean. I felt like, how can that be? Even as a new believer, i knew how to answer some basic christianity questions.... like what does my prayer life look like... Or when i knew i wanted more of Jesus in my life, i went after it..... it was all i could talk about. And while my fiance does go to bible study with me, he doesn't like discussing the message. And this is really putting a strain on our "communications". I asked him "what he thought of the movie fireproof". He said he liked it. Then i asked him what was his favorite scene. He said that part when the dad was at the cross. Ok, then i asked him if he could relate to any of the film. He got irritated with me and said i was asking too many questions. And that he doesn't like getting the third degree. UGH! I wanted to discuss the movie. My nature is i like to discuss the bible or a bible study or a sermon. He accused me of grilling him. I said, i want to be in a relationship where i can talk about these things. Why is that too difficult? My suspicion is because he's hiding something. Or what if he doesn't really believe and therefore doesn't want to talk about it cuz then i'll figure him out.

sigh.

Thanks for listening. I am seeking God about this. I know He has my back. I know He is ultimately in control. Praise Him.

Loonybunny

I hate to feel like i'm judging someone but i don't want to be decieved either.... I have asked the fiance for a little space. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 9:18am
(((((((((((((((BIG BIG BIG BIG HUG))))))))))))))))))))))) Sweety I'll keep praying. Prayerfully he will stop running from God. Sounds like he is fighting hard. Maybe space will make his re-evaluate what his real goals & real intentions are. Blessings my friend... and much love from one sister to another. <3

Robin

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 9:50am
{{{{Hugs}}}} I am so sorry you are going through this. What insight you have! I like to communicate and discuss movies, sermons, scripture as well. I can relate to wanting to grow and learn together. We have been discussing what it means to be lukewarm at my Revelation class. Praying for God to reveal His plan and will for this situation. May our God open your eyes to what He has for you!!! Thanks so much for sharing how God is working in and through you! I will keep both of you in my prayers.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Mon, 10-31-2011 - 11:14am
Thank you both. Feels good to be able to share. And to know I have a couple warrior sisters with me. God truly is so awesome!!! May He be glorified!

:)
Loonybunny

Pages