Sole custody trial coming up..

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Sole custody trial coming up..
6
Thu, 05-05-2011 - 9:08pm

I have a 4 year old special needs child with my former husband. We divorced 2 years ago. My X has a drinking problem. It's been 1 thing after another. X still wants joint custody without supervised visits.He feels this isn't necessary and told me a few days ago, if this restriction is placed on him in court, he will not be able to afford this so he will no longer be able to see him. It is my understanding that being granted sole custody isn't permanent. The courts in our state review matters every 2 years. I have told my x this isn't permanent and gives him time to get it together for if and when, we can always change it. I also petitioned the courts in February for enforcement of child support, and which he is now paying. Claims he is disabled, blah blah blah. Another post.

X was arrested in October 2010 and charged with a super extreme dwi and is required to have a breathalyzer in his vehicle for the next 1 1/2 years. In March 2010, he went to an er by ambulance on life support for alcoholic seizures, refused help with dr, and left(have records). A year prior to this incident, he blacked out again on a job site out of state for the same reason, alcoholic seizures(have records). The family court judge back in March at initial custody hearing ordered random alcohol testing and X failed 2 to date for specimens diluted.

He has never taken the child outside of my home when he comes to see him and it is only short visits when he is here.

Since November, he has been living out of an rv in his sister and brother in law's driveway. Prior to this, he was basically homeless. Our child was diagnosed as having special needs over a year ago, and X told me to give him 30 days to straighten him out. Didnt want to attend dr appointments with me or with child's provider last fall to ask them questions, etc. A fews days ago, he told me he realizes son is a special needs child but doesn't need to wear his braces. X has always been against son taking medications as well.

His family was very supportive of me in all this, his Father's wife even told me they were devastated with X until I started taking legal action to enforce x to be responsible and pay his support and filed for sole custody. Now I am the bad guy and according to x, they want nothing to do with me because of MY character! Please! X gave me a letter from his brother in law he plans on submitting for an exhibit at trial, but I am rebutting it for several reasons. In this letter, BIL states things that arent completely true and or not correct. His family has not called me at all in the last 5 months to see how the child is doing, nothing. Even after how they wanted to know if I would still let them visit child.

After all of this is settled, I am inclined to write x's family how I am saddened it has come to all of this and am disappointed how they have nothing to do with my son and clarify some things that x brother in law states in his letter to courts.

I am also requesting to court, no overnight visits with child even though x has never taken him out of home like previously stated.

I offered to request sole custody with no supervised visist but he has to be home by 6pm, no extended stays, etc, but x won't go for it. Who wouldn't want to have sole custody of their child in this situation? I am saddened and hurt by all of this as it is and on top of it, being dealt a worse blow of how the x's family is now being so cold and distant towards me, treating me so crummy and having nothing to do with the kid.

Please pray that God will intervene in this situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 11:09am

Hi!

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2009
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 2:21pm
Big (((hugs))) to you. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but I hope things work out in your favor. When is your court date?

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Fri, 05-06-2011 - 8:51pm
I am so sorry you are going through all of this! {{{{{{Hugs}}}}} I wish I could find the right words to encourage you. I know that I can't, but God can! Praying for Him to come along side you and that you would feel His love and presence in this and every situation. Keep us updated on how you are doing.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 05-16-2011 - 5:13pm

Went to court today. I was granted sole custody. The judge was not nice to my x. Reamed him over the coals for a long time before he announced his decision.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-11-1999
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 9:10am
Thanks so much for your update. I have been in a similar situation and know how you feel about an x telling lie & half truths. I am glad that the judge was able to see through all of that and put the best interest of your child first.

I will be praying! Keep us updated on you!

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-17-2011 - 3:10pm

Praise God for a good decision on the part of the judge.

Robin