getting husband to help with child
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|Sat, 03-21-2009 - 7:35pm|
I am a SAHM so I understand that most of the time I'm going to have my daughter and that's fine, but how do you get your your husband to share in taking care of your child when he's home from work and on the weekends? I never get to go anywhere without my daughter, if I go visit a friend I take my daughter, if I go to the store I take my daughter. It's fine most of the time, but I too would like to have time alone by myself or time alone with my girlfriends. My husband works 10 hour days 4 days a week, he's also a volunteer fire fighter. On the days that he's off he's usually gone on a call or sitting on the couch "relaxing". It frustrates me because I would like a break once in a while. When I do go to try to do something by myself and I ask him to watch our daughter for a few hours(Like if I want to get my haircut or something) he'll say "why don't you get my mom or your mom to watch her"? It angers me that he can't take care of his own child by himself.
As we speak he's gone paintballing with his friends and I'm at home taking care of our daughter. He's been gone since 9 this morning and said that he didn't know what time he'd be home tonight. I can understand if he was working or something like that, but when you are hanging out with your friends, the time you leave is in your control. I just wish for once he would be a man and act like he is married with a child(with another on the way!)
We've had this conversation so many times it makes me sick. Last summer he was a full time student, a part time worker, a volunteer fire fighter and an assistant coach for his best friend's son baseball team. He was everywhere but home with us. When I brought it up he got all mad and yelled "FINE i'll just QUIT the fire dept and the softball team" and that's not exactly what I wanted, I just wanted him to relize that we want him home too and that when he's home I want his attention to be on his daughter and not in front of the tv or on the computer trying to "relax" because he was never home. How should I go about this conversation without sounding like a nag, or is it just a lost cause and I just need to suck it up?
I'm trying to remain peaceful about this whole thing, and not get too angry so that I blow up when he finally gets home, but I feel like i have a right to be angry. I don't want to be a pushover! I feel like satan though is trying to make me angry and cause more problems in my marriage. What can I do?