is it wrong...

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
is it wrong...
8
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 3:22pm

Hey.I am Laura. I am realtively new to this board. With that being said~ I have a question. I have to tell the story, so bare with me and it is personal. My Dh and I had sex. Well, now there is a HUGE possiblity that I can become/be pregnant. I am not ready for another child,neither do I want one right now. Am I wrong to be praying that I am not pregnant or should I be praying that God knows what the future holds. I know that God will provide and he always does. However, is it wrong to pray that way? I am confused. Because I dont really know how I should feel. Last night I was very hateful to my Dh about it too. I think that i hurt his feelings...I promise I didn't mean too. Any advice will would be wonderful. Thanks in advance!!!

Laura

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2007
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Mon, 04-02-2007 - 4:15pm

I don't think it's wrong to hope or pray you're not pregnant. Many people pray to become pregnant, and I think prayers can work both ways. You're married, so it's not like you're praying to avoid consequences of extra-marital sex.

I'm not a mother and am on the Pill to keep it that way. A couple of years ago I had a bit of a scare - felt nauseated and just plain nasty for a while. Apparently it was a light touch of a stomach virus. But while it was going on, my constant prayer was, "Please God, don't let me be. I'm not ready for that."

For religious reasons I don't agree with abortion, so if I'd been pregnant, well, I'd be a mom now. But I don't think there's anything wrong with your feelings.

Hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 3:12pm
I don't believe there's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. You and your DH have a plan to start your family at a certain time in your marriage, and I'm trusting that the two of you have brought that plan before God in prayer.




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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 3:33pm

We already have a DS 2 1/2, but I guess that I don't want another one right now. However, when we found out we were expecting our DS...it happend the same way SUPRISE!!! I just feel that we have so much on our plate right now that we dont need to add a baby to the mix. We're planning on moving next year and then having another baby. I know that if we are, God will provide!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Tue, 04-03-2007 - 3:59pm
Hon, my best friend has 4 of those suprises. She had serious female issues as a young person and had been told by 2 doctors that she was sterile from all the surgeries and such. That being said, even when we think we have things under control, it's God plan ultimately. I don't think it's wrong praying to not be pregnate now. She and I cried many a time over her positive tests, sometimes happy tears, sometimes sad tears. There are times when we feel the timing is wrong for things. It sounds to me though that you understand that God's timing is divine and if you are not epecting a baby, praise be to God. If you are, praise be to God, He will provide the way. ((HUGS))

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 8:34am

I don't think it is wrong to hope you aren't pregnant. Just remember God knows what he is doing if you find you are. I had 4 kids with no plans of another. Guess what? Yep, pregnant with a 5th. Then, I was POSITIVE I could not be the mom of a son. Guess what? Yep, a son. I was not amused to say the least. Well, my little dude is 8 now. He brings me so much joy. Just yesterday, he planted all the flowers out front with my dh. He does all that "guy stuff" that my girls could care less about. I think God wanted me to have a lad to see that it wasn't so bad after all.

As far as precautions go, they are a lovely idea. However, God is God. I learned this fact after I had my tubes tied and burned. Sure enough, I got pregnant about a year or so after. I was mortified. Then, it wasn't even a smooth deal. I had to go daily for blood work because they didn't know where I was pregnant. I hadn't heard of that saga before. Evidently, when you get pregnant, even if only in a tube, your body still forms a yolk sac in the uterus. After 2 weeks of hellish agony trying to find out if I needed to plan for a baby or surgery, the doc decided that either way, the baby would be seriously malformed. My numbers weren't doing as they were supposed to. I went in for surgery actually relieved that I was not having another baby. My dh was horrified and terribly upset. After surgery my mom and I were talking. I told I was actually relieved it ended up the way it did. She told me it was ok. In my heart of hearts, I really didn't want one.

I guess bottom line is that God is in control. If he gives you another one, He will provide and help you enjoy the new one. If not, good for you. I will say this, many a mom has thought there was no way they could love a 2nd child like the first. It just is not the case. Your child is a good age to have another. It will help with the new baby.

 

Kristi

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 11:04am

Praise God. He is in control.

I have 5 surprises of my own. I try not to question or understand. It has not always been easy... several of those surprises (actually maybe all...lol). I cried tears of sadness first. Each time not thinking I was ready... each time thinking that if I wasn't pregnant... things would be easier... But after I came to terms that God had another idea than me... I cried tears of JOY. And recently God gave me this scripture...

Proverbs 14:4
"Where there is no oxen, the stable is clean. However, a strong ox is needed for a large harvest."

And wouldn't ya know it... after reading that scripture and thinking...hmmm I think God is trying to tell me something about my children ...

That sunday my children did something that I've never seen them do before... One child was holding his jacket like a matador and said "toro toro" while the other child ran into the jacket... Yes, God was making it very clear to me... My children are my oxen. The stable isn't always clean... BUT the harvest is LARGE. Praise Him!!!!

Hope you have a blessed day,

Loonybunny

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 3:34pm
I like that perspective too. I know that God knows best, but the thought of another baby FREAKS ME OUT. My DS who is 2 1/2 now, was a suprise. He was a wonderful suprise too. I like the verse that you stated. That is so true. Our child/children are such a blessing from God. Our children will one day call us mothers blessed. I am so blessed. I am blessed that I have no trouble getting pregnant. I will let everyone know the results on the 16th.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: jgsmom2004
Wed, 04-04-2007 - 5:38pm

I agree with whats been said. I just wanted to say, hi! And let you know that I am so glad that I had not much control over my family decisions. I seven kids and if I had stopped when I originally planned, I would have missed out on a lot of happiness from my kids. The truth is, God is in control and he will be there for you if you need him. Baby or no baby.........God is still the same capable God. He will order your days and he will give you exactly what you need in each one! Priase God for my

"I know my plans for you"declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you,  and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11