Need some advice
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|Fri, 01-26-2007 - 3:18pm|
I have written on this site before, a few weeks ago,( Titled" Husband and inlaw problems"). I shared how my husband had retired from 20 years in the Navy last July, and how we had moved to live next door to my inlaws, and how that was causing even more problems in our marriage.
I have made alot of mistakes in my marriage, including a past overspending problem, and dishonesty about it to my husband. I am now trying to put my past mistakes behind me.
As for my husband, he has been very critical of me throughout our 17 year marriage. He has, at times, had an anger problem, and has yelled at me, and thrown things. He has told me that I "need to be the wife that he wants me to be."
Living here next to my inlaws continues to be difficult. The other day, my mother in law was gone for the day, so I figured it would be safe to go out and get my mail from the mailbox. So, I just got my mail, and left my mother in laws and husband's mail for my mother in law to get later. But, my husband caught me getting the mail, and scolded me. He told me that I was not allowed to get the mail,not even my own. Only himself or his mother were allowed to get mail, he told me. He also said he has to see my mail each day, as well.
The next day, my mother in law got the mail, and brought it to us. She accused me of ordering a new magazine ( her and my husband do not want me to order anything through the mail, and my mother in law checks the dates on my magazines that come in the mail, to see if I have ordered any new ones.) I told my mother in law that I had not ordered a new one, it was just a gift subsciption from my Aunt for Christmas. ( My husband and his mother treat me this way, because of my past overspending problems.) I am also allowed no money of my own, or access to our bank accounts.
My husband has been out of work for six weeks. He stays up all night, and sleeps all day, and does not look for work. I dont nag him, I know he is depressed and feeling lost after 20 years in the Navy. But, I am worried, as we cannot pay our bills.
I know that I have made alot of mistakes in the past. But, I am starting to feel that I can't go on for much longer here, being allowed so little personal freedom.
I have been thinking that, if things do not get better for me here by this summer, that I may go stay with my family out of state, at least temporarily. I may possibly also tell my husband that I will not come back, until I am allowed more personal freedom, and we get some counseling together, and we move ( at least a few miles) from the inlaws.
I am not really sure WHAT the best thing would be to do, though. I am heartbroken at the idea of possibly leaving my 14 year old daughter, even for awhile. I also still would like to see my marriage restored.
Please let me know what you think.
Thank you for listening,