Need some prayers and advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Need some prayers and advice
4
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 8:48pm

Today our pastor preached this great sermon. I really like our pastor and find he does this often but today really got to me personally. He was talking about having a heart for sinners and how God's heart is broken when his children are not doing as they should and how ours should be also. I really feel convicted by this especially concerning my family.


I will give you a little background here my family is not saved. My parents are not Christians and have never professed any kind of real faith. They know about Christ and what it means to be a Christian as they were both raised this way. Anyway, I was never overly bothered by my parents lack of faith. I prayed for them and always really believed that they would come around eventually. They were always very supportive of the way I was living my life and raising the girls. Last year this all changed. My father had an affair. My parents decided to work this out and stay together but I think they are doing that the wrong way. My father is suffering from some sort of depression and my mom is just really denying that anything ever happened. Their current past time is to hang out in various bars and drink a lot. They plan everything around drinking and riding their motorcycle. When we were home for Christmas ( I live 14 hours from home) they just did their own thing. My mom was even so drunk when they got home one night that she passed out in front of my kids. Since I have been home from that I have pretty much decided that we are just not going home anymore. I do not want my kids around them and do not want to hear about it when they kill themselves on that bike.


Here comes my problem. Due to the sermon this morning and I am trying to figure out how to balance my need to have them in Heaven with me someday and my need to not be part of this situation. I feel as though I have a lot on my plate. Dh will be gone most of the summer for training and then leaves this fall for deployment to the Persian gulf. I have two children and am very involved in the church here so I am busy and I just feel as though I can not take them right now. Am I wrong? Should I be rushing there in hopes that I can somehow help them see they need God? How do I do this and still protect my kids and quite honestly myself? They are now so wrapped up in their own lives and my father is actually shown some destain for my way of life.


I am sorry to dump all this on you all. I really do not talk about my family to anyone but dh these days. My family was always so close and it hurts to feel I need to distance myself from them. My heart has been heavy all day thinking on this and I just figured that I have seen some of you give such great and honest advice with others on here and I know many of you really and truly pray when asked. It seemed like a good place to start trying to sort out some of my feelings.


Thanks so much for reading all this. I know it got rather long and I hope it makes sense.






iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2004
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 9:49am

Can you maintain some sort of relationship with them via email or mail?

Mary 

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 10:55am
Thank you Mary. For now I do talk to my mom on the phone occasionally. She usually calls me I do not call her. I pick up the phone sometimes to call but just do not really know what to say. I do not want to fight with them and I know they are going to be upset when we do not come home this summer. I know if I really tell them why they will be angry. I guess you never get old enough to be comfortable making your parents mad. I am praying and I hope I will get a good answer soon. I keep hoping some opportunity will present itself where I can really tell them how frightened I am about all this. I keep having to remind myself that God's timing is perfect.






iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 9:43pm
I know you are in a tough situation. You can love the sinner and hate the sin. Sounds easier than it is I know. There were so many people who decided I was trouble from the word go because I had kids in my early teens. Many "Christians" couldn't handle my sin. However, a few real Christians gave me a chance. They didn't try to change me or really address my faults. They just chose to love me as a person, not as my past. Because of that, I was able to see my own shortcomings. God will work on them when He is ready. For now, love them in spite of. You can hate the situations. You can and should shield your kids from drinking and the likes. However, there is nothing wrong with a phone call to mom, a note in the mail to let them know you think of them, and a visit here and there. Pray for them. You can plant seeds, others will water them, others give light, in the end there is a harvest.

 

Kristi

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 9:43am

Jenny, I totally agree with Kristi. You just have to love them for being your parents, for raising you, for loving you. Be faithful in your prayer for their souls. Continue to let your Christian light shine, call them, visit them but let them know on visits you will not stay in the home if drunkeness is going to occur. You daughters will always remember that their mom held to her Christian beliefs thru out their whole lives. And your parents may let the seed of God grow intheir lives too. ((HUGS)) Honey, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this but thru God we will be made stronger for climning these mountains in our lives.

Robin

Robin