Santa Unchristian?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Santa Unchristian?
Mon, 11-06-2006 - 7:18pm
Hello. This is my first post. I have been married for almost 5 months. Before we got married, we both agreed that my DH would be head of the household and that we wanted to raise our future children with strong faith. Anyways, I just found out that my DH doesn't want our children to celebrate Halloween or be told anything about Santa. I have wanted to be a mother my whole life. I have great memories of Halloween and adorable Santa photos and always imagined having that experience with my kids. I (reluctantly) agree about Halloween. I'll hate not having cute pics of my future babies in costumes, but I realize that it's not easy giving up worldly things. Now, Santa...... I just don't see the harm of Santa. My DH's reasoning is that he doesn't ever want to lie to our children. He's afraid that our children might say you said Santa was real and he's not so why should I believe you when you say Jesus is real. I think that they will (and probably should) go through a period where they examine what they are taught as a child regardless. My fear is that if you rob them of too many things in their childhood for religious reasons, they may resent it. Am I wrong? Does anyone have any advice or know anyone that also doesn't "do Santa"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 9:28am

Unless your children are raised in a vacuum, they will hear about Halloween and Santa. Their friends will tell them, the media will overwhelm them with images. It's simply not possible to ignore the secular aspects of these holidays. However, you can make sure that in the midst of the secular aspects of any holiday, your children clearly understand what the Bible says.

I was raised in a Christian home - and I went out trick or treating, I dressed in costumes, my parents had presents under the tree from "Santa." But we were also taught that Santa was not real, we were taught the real reason we celebrate Christmas. Santa was just for fun. We didn't "worship" Santa, he was not the focal point - it was just for silliness - being kids.

There are some really good books out there that can offer some good insight on how Christian parents can celebrate these holidays in biblical ways without completely embracing the secular aspects. I don't know of any specific titles off the top of my head, but I'm sure a google search would help you find them - or asking at your local Christian bookstore.

But like I said initially, unless you keep your children locked in the closet, you are not going to be able to completely shield them from the worldly influence. What you can do is raise your children to the best of your ability to love Jesus and understand what the Bible says.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 9:51am

Hi there. Welcome to the board. You will find women from all walks of life with different perspectives here. It's nice because you get a vast perspective of responses to pick and choose from. I am a SAHM to my 4 kids and have been married for 11 yrs. I do understand where your husband is coming from. It is hard to tell kids Santa is real and then devastate them years later. They find out Santa, the Tooth Fairy, and Easter Bunny aren't real and it is hard to explain that God is. They are kids. To lie to them about all of it is hard. However, here is how we handled the Santa issue. As the kids came up we never told them Santa was real. We just told them the legend of Santa. We told them how there was a nice old man that used to surprise kids with a toy under the tree. When he got old and died, we passed the tradition on. That is why they get one gift from Santa. Now I will say I did hit a glitch with my last We always told the kids that they could tell other kids the real deal because their moms might want to keep it a secret. One day we were out in the mall. My ds was asked by a pleasant old lady what Santa was bringing him. He looked at her and said,"Santa's DEAD!" LMBO. I almost died. I explained how we told him the story of Santa....I think she might have understood why I killed off Santa, I hope. All in all, it hasn't been bad at all. Daddy gets credit for working hard to provide the gifts, we give plenty to others at that time of year and we keep Jesus the focus for the season.

Now Halloween, there are various perspectives on it. I know it is All Hallows Eve to many. The reason to and not to celebrate are as vast as the number of people with opinions. Here is where we stand. We don't celebrate it. Many churches have a Fall Festival alternative. Kids get candy and play games and what have you. We have had years where I just buy tons of candy and we watch movies as a family. This year we went to a roller skating rink that handed out candy when they were done skating. It is a personal choice as to wether or not you want to participate. We stopped letting the kids dress up because we were playing both sides of the fence. Either we celebrate Halloween or don't. I would pray about it and see what comes of it.



You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 11-07-2006 - 12:07pm

Welcome! We look forward to hearing from you here again. My DH and I come from different religious backgrounds. I had Santa Claus and Halloween and he was brought up that both were pagan worship. Once we were married, we tried to hammer all this out. He now keeps Christmas but we agreed that our children would know that WE are Santa, that he is a legend only. Our children have always been taught that it's not about Santa or gifts, that its all about Jesus Christ. As for Halloween, we do not trick or treat. We attend fall festivals at local churchs or go for a family night out. This year, we went to our fav mexican restaurant and then to the arcade to goof off with our boys. They loved it. We have found in our marriage that it was best to negotiate on these points before we had children. Otherwise, you and he are not on the same wave length and children pick up on this. Be creative and you can make Christmas awesome without the teaching of the Santa legend and as for Halloween, fall festivals are just too cool! The local church has huge outdoor slides, game booths, loads of candy and food as well as a live contemporary christian band. It's an awesome event.



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 10:26am
Hi, and welcome to the board. I think the ladies have given you some great ideas! I pray that you and your DH will come to a peaceable resolve about celebrating the holidays once you have children.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 11-08-2006 - 5:03pm

Hi & Welcome~

I'm Karen, currently with a broken PC, so you find me here too often until things change. I have 7 children, been married for almost 22 years. We have two adult children, and

"I know my plans for you"declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you,  and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-05-2006
Thu, 11-09-2006 - 6:29pm
I would like to thank everyone for their words of wisdom!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2002
Tue, 11-14-2006 - 1:47pm

Since we're on the topic of Santa.

I just had a great conversation with my 7 yr old about Santa. Like the other poster said, unless they live in a closet, children start learning about Santa. My 7 yr old asked me yesterday. "Is Santa for real? Because some kids are saying he isn't. And Don't Lie To ME."

This is what I told him... this is what I believe. The truth about Santa is relative. (okay he probably didn't understand that "I believe a little bit of Santa lives in all of us. It's called the Christmas Spirit. The spirit of giving, family, sharing and loving each other. So, if a little bit of Santa lives in me and in you, then a little bit of Santa buys those presents, too." Then I went on to say "Who is our provider? Jesus is our provider. He provides my job and the money I make, therefore Jesus is truly the one who provides for the presents." And I told him about how Christmas is celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus. It's a wonderful time of year. So, I said, "to answer your question. No Santa is not a person who puts presents under the tree. I put the presents under the tree. But the spirit of Santa which is giving, sharing and family IS REAL. And we have Jesus to thank for that. Amen."

I was worried about how he would react. I never intended for him to think that Santa was real, but he just learned it from school or tv or friends. But when he flat out asked, I wasn't going to lie. We were both praising Jesus at the end of the conversation so I think it went well.

Thanks for the other great ideas about what to say... I'm sure this won't be the last time the conversation comes up.