So confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
So confused
6
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 11:27am

Hi everyone,


I am writing seeking some advice/words of encouragement or prayer. I am in my late 20s and in a relationship with a very loving man. Sometimes though, he is "too loving" and I feel bad about feeling this way. He tells me he loves me and misses me all day everyday, but sometimes I am just not feeling the same way. I am not a very "mushy" woman. He isn't a church-goer as I am but he finally agreed to go to church with me Sunday. The problem is, I feel like he smothers me. I have prayed to God to send me a caring man and my singles ministry even had us write up a list of characteristics and behaviors we wanted in a man. He fits my list almost perfectly accept for that fact that I feel like I can barely breathe around him. He always wants to sit extra close, he does things that annoy me, like sticking his finger in my ear and poking me. I just feel like I can't get a median. I either have boyfriends that give me so much space, usually because they are cheating or I get a man like this that suffocates me. At one time, I truly believed he was the one for me but lately I have been having doubts. We have been arguing for a few weeks now and its starting to weigh heavy on my mind and heart. I have tried praying for peace but it doesn't seem to be happening. I have a promise ring that I wear on my left hand, wedding finger that he gave me, he promises that we'll be engaged next year. I guess I just don't know what to do. I often feel annoyed that we can never just sit in peace but that he always has to be touching me in some sort of way, even if its laying his head on my shoulder. I know that the devil doesn't want me to be happy and wants to make my life miserable. Is it any way to get past these issues and continue on with our courtship and eventually marry? Thanks for taking out the time to read this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: monet2007
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 3:07pm

WELCOME!! It's so nice to have you drop in. We hope you stay around and get to know everyone here. You will find a wonderful group of ladies here.

I think I'd be spending alot of time searching God's word and in prayer for God to give you the right decision in the matter of your heart. God gives us edgey feelings for a reason. Sometimes they are unfounded because we are unsure but if you are being smothered by someone else's insecurity or jealousy, you really need to heed what God is trying to tell you now. Maybe if you open up and talk to your BF about this, he will back off a bit. Maybe he just needs to hear what YOU need. Men are not very good at ESP.lol I'll be praying for you.

Your sister in Christ,


Robin

Robin

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
In reply to: monet2007
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 9:19am

Thanks Robin,


You're right, I know that he can't read my mind. I have tried talking about it but he just doesn't seem to get it. He isn't the jealous type, but would like me all to himself all the time, if that makes any sense. I would love to get to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: monet2007
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 1:22pm

Hi and welcome~


It sounds to me that you don't a peace about this man. If these things annoy you, and I understand that completly, (that would make me nuts, lol) than comunication is the key. On the other hand, these things can be

"I know my plans for you"declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you,  and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future" Jeremiah 29:11

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
In reply to: monet2007
Thu, 12-18-2008 - 3:21pm
Thanks for the reply. I wanted to answer your questions. He and I have been friends for about twelve years now. In that time, he has had to date, two, three
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
In reply to: monet2007
Fri, 12-19-2008 - 6:59pm
Reading your posts, it sounds like you are a woman torn. I might consider a time out.

 

Kristi

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-05-2007
In reply to: monet2007
Sat, 12-20-2008 - 1:27pm
Many thanks for the reply Kristi. Your quote especially spoke to