What to do???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2001
What to do???
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 6:52am
HI! I have a problem. Keith and I thought it would be a good idea to stay home on Christmas with just the kids. Last night I asked him what he wanted for dinner on Christmas and he said he didn't care so, I told him either pot roast or ham. Then he looks at me like I pushed him. I told him if he wanted to go to his family on Christmas fine. I told him that I was tried of getting the blame for the choices that we both made together. He said that he didn't care if we went or not. I'm like RIGHT!! So,I don't know if we should go back on our word and go to his family or stay home? All the grandparents live in the same town as we do so its not like we are far away. And we tell them (all) to come on over when ever they want to.
Keith and his family stayed home on Christmas and then went to his dad's mom the next day and we all stayed home and my grandparents came over on Christmas Eve. The problem is that Ryan likes to be in bed for a nap at 1 pm and they both don't well napping at other people's houses. I told him that I hate to rush through our gifts and then we can't enjoy the kids opening theirs. I know that they are still little and might not get it this year but its still cute to see them trying to open the gifts. I know that you all can't tell me what to do . But what would you all do? Stay home or go to his family?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 11-30-2006 - 8:46am

Pray about it Katie. The grandparents know what its like having small children to care for. Maybe Keith is worried that you guys are offending someone by not making an appearance but who says you can't make a late appearance? We do supper at my parents on Christmas so that we are not rushed thru our day yet we spend about 4 hours with them too. It's really very nice. No on feels left out. Change is harder for some than others. Just be in prayer and maybe you can find a compromise where all are happy. ((HUG)) I'll be praying.

Your sister in Christ,


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2004
Fri, 12-01-2006 - 9:07am
Isn't that the most fun battle? NOT!!! I hate it! My inlaws decided for me that I would be driving 10 hours to go see them for Christmas. Is going to his family's for dinner an option? That way you can let the little ones nap and then go. Having to tote the kids can be a hassle, but it might be worth it. IF you are dead set against it, then invite all the family at a specific time for dinner, dessert or something. He could be having a hard time with the idea of not being with his family. I must confess the thought of Thanksgiving or my birthday, Christmas Eve without my family kills me. We do it every year. I figure the holidays are stressful enough. Why argue with your spouse. If you all live in the same town, it would seem that it would be easy enough to make it work. After all it is only one day.



You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2006
Sun, 12-10-2006 - 3:23pm
Hi there,
In my family we finally resolved the problem by going to the in-laws on Christmas Eve and my parents on Christmas day. It was tough, because at the time i was married, we lived 4 hours away from my parents and 20 min away from his. So we had an early dinner with his family and then bundled up 3 babies and traveled 4 hours to my folks house....where of course no one wanted to go to sleep...lol. Finally at about 10 at night 3 cranky kids went to sleep and were up at 7am on Christmas morning.
I look back and wonder why i didn't go crazy but it was because we both got to spend time with our families and the kids loved it.
So i don't know if it is possible, but mabye Christmas Eve with one family and Christmas day with the other.
And no matter what....little ones don't always get good naps at this time of year. He will fall asleep when he has had enough and crawls up on your lap and sleeps.
Just keep praying. God will help you.