Advice on Names for FIL's GF?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Advice on Names for FIL's GF?
10
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 4:47pm

Okay, so I think this is a really strange question, but I'm at a loss.

My Father-in-Law is dating a woman, whom I have taught DS (3 years old) to call by her first name (I'll call her Dana for this post).

Me () -- 34 DH -- 37 Conceived DS naturally after almost 2 years TTC and one loss. Currently have been TTC #2 after 2 more years and two more losses. Recently found polyp in uterus. Scheduled for hysteroscopy and removal 6/2011..... Instead surprise
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Sun, 08-14-2011 - 8:16pm

When I was growing up, we were taught to call a few of my parents' close friends Aunt and Uncle even though we were not related. Somehow my parents were able to explain to us at a young age that it was just a title, since these people were too close to our family to be addressed as Mrs or Mr So-and-so. We were never permitted to call adults by their first names so there had to be something in between. This woman may be of a generation that was taught that it is rude and disrespectful for children to address adults by their first name and that may be why she is not comfortable with it; and the "honorary aunt" title may be the solution she was raised with also. This was very common among my friends also, and generations before us.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 12:54pm

HI,

I agree with the previous post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2004
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 3:43pm

If she becomes related through marriage and fulfills the roll of grandmother to your children then I would let them know they can rethink what they call her if they want (My kids call my fil's new wife grandma first name).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Mon, 08-15-2011 - 4:14pm

I grew up calling adults by their title...Aunt, Uncle, Grandma, etc.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Tue, 08-16-2011 - 8:51pm

Thanks to everyone for your opinions and insights.

Me () -- 34 DH -- 37 Conceived DS naturally after almost 2 years TTC and one loss. Currently have been TTC #2 after 2 more years and two more losses. Recently found polyp in uterus. Scheduled for hysteroscopy and removal 6/2011..... Instead surprise
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-10-1999
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 3:50pm

I think if Dana was able to come to you and tell you that she wasn't comfortable being called by her first name you should be able to tell her

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2011
Thu, 08-18-2011 - 7:44pm

I think if Dana was able to come to you and tell you that she wasn't comfortable being called by her first name you should be able to tell her

Me () -- 34 DH -- 37 Conceived DS naturally after almost 2 years TTC and one loss. Currently have been TTC #2 after 2 more years and two more losses. Recently found polyp in uterus. Scheduled for hysteroscopy and removal 6/2011..... Instead surprise
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 12:43am

Since your children really don't have any special feelings for this woman, I would suggest sticking to Ms. Dana or Dana and just explain to her that you are teaching children to respect adults and that since she isn't their aunt, they won't be calling her aunt.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2005
Thu, 08-25-2011 - 3:18pm

My BIL 2 dd's called their grandma's {SIL's mom} grandma Lois & her dad's wife is called grandma Mary {not sure what her name is} & MIL is grandma Peggy.

I have 3 grandkids, only see oldest gd. She will refer to me as Granma Sam. I'm the only grandmother {both of my oldest 2 son-in-laws have lost both of their parents, so xh, dh & I are the only grandparents, Miss Lu won't call dh grandpa, she calls him by his name Peter~he seems to be fine with it}

~~Sam stitches well with others, runs with scissors in her pocket. Cheerful and stupid.
Avatar for elc11
Community Leader
Registered: 06-16-1998
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 6:17pm

I have the solution for you LOL. This is from a list of names for grandparents from the website grandparents.com. I know that she didn't suggest a grandmother name but consider this: Geezer Girl. Faced with being called that maybe she'll ask to just go back to being called Dana