BIL/sexual assault

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2002
BIL/sexual assault
Sat, 06-22-2013 - 9:35am

My brother-in-law was recently arrested for sexual assualt & battery. I never liked him to begin with. None of the family of my husband likes him but they put up with him as to not make my SIL upset. He is the husband of my husband's sister. He was arrested, in the paper under the police log section and has been banned from the apartment he and SIL live in. SIL has no intention at all of leaving him. So now as you can imagine I feel even more disgust with this guy and would rather not be around him at all. My question is-- would you attend gatherings that he would be at? Just stuff like summer bbq. Half of me feels that it would be unrealistic to continue this forever and the other half is just so repulsed and uncomfortable. Thank you for your thoughts.

Avatar for lizmvr
Community Leader
Registered: 06-06-2001
Mon, 06-24-2013 - 12:06am

I don't think you need to attend events at which this BIL is in attendance. If you and/or your husband want a relationship with your SIL, invite her out to activities alone. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to not want this guy around you, or possibly your children. If you are a mom, it's your job to protect your kids first--that should always come before the possibility of offending someone who commits sexual assault.


Clinical Research Associate


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Thu, 06-27-2013 - 10:33pm

Do you know who he was accused of sexually assaulting?  if it was a child, I would definitely not want to bring my own children around him.  And how is your SIL going to stay with him if he's not allowed to be in her apt?