Danger Ahead

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2011
Danger Ahead
6
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 7:25pm

SIL1 has a lot of emotional and personality problems.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
In reply to: chia2011
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 11:03pm

Are you married now?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
In reply to: chia2011
Tue, 08-30-2011 - 11:59pm

"one of the dysfunctional habits he has with his sister is to tell her things that he shouldn't be sharing (and are often untrue)"

I would say the "often untrue" part would be a huge problem for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2011
In reply to: chia2011
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 10:04am

Yes, we have been married for 3 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2011
In reply to: chia2011
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 11:03am

Sorry, I'm not sure I made myself clear.

Community Leader
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: chia2011
Wed, 08-31-2011 - 12:17pm

To answer your questions - NO, I do not think you should have this niece to stay at your home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
In reply to: chia2011
Thu, 09-01-2011 - 6:10am

This is a very tricky one. I have my own fair share of experience in having completely cut ties with one part of the family (an abusive alcoholic father) and having to maintain some relationships that are linked to that person. Firstly, I think you need to talk to your DH very openly and honestly about this, particularly about how you feel about this. Make it clear that you are not judging him, or his FOO or his relationships with them BUT also make it clear that there are some things that you will NOT put up with. Get those boundaries clear, and get yourselves on the same page. You may need the help of a counsellor (a disinterested third party) to help you sort this out.

When you've done that, then you can both work out any ground rules for contact with everyone, and STICK to them.

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


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