At the end of my rope!!!
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|Tue, 08-07-2012 - 3:51pm|
Well my story has not changed a bit. I decided on Easter that we would no longer go around my inlaws anymore and here a few reasons added to all the rest of the things we have been through. 1. I gave my DH a surprise bday party and did my best to invite everyone in his family. All they had to do was come - I provided food, dj, our home, drinks, and it was just pure fun until......
The inlaws came and did their best to destroy any bit of happiness there was. As soon as we told my DH SURPIRSE! one of his aunts came and asked him why her son was not invited, his mother came and asked why I sent the invitation the way I did (they didn't like the words, how it came (it came in the mail 1 week early btw), who I invited and who I didn't invite). Told him all of this DURING his party and before we arrived, they talked about me in our home to his friends!! Wowzers right??? Then on top of all of that the inlaws gave him a dinner the next day after the party I gave him that included dinner. Talk about adding insult to injury...
Then when Easter came around no one spoke to me I am assuming because they were still mad at the party I gave him a month earlier. Why did they have a problem with the party? Let me tell you....because I gave it to him and they didn't. While we were at his moms house on Easter, she came and got the children that I was playing with and had them go and to a Easter egg hunt....and never said a word to me while she walked right passed me to get my son. The nerve of her. When we were looking for our ds to come and play this game with us (DH and I) she told us that he would be there in a bit because he was doing an easter egg hunt. I was livid! How dare you come and get my child from me and do a easter egg hunt and not even bother to tell me that is what you were doing. As if I am not his mother or as if were were not there. My DH had no problem with it. Again I didn't make a huge deal of it, but I did let him know that I didn't like it.
No one talked to me the whole time we were there and I found myself standing in the middle of a field by myself watching my DH and his cousins play football. I may have well not been there so I left and went home. I tried to go and be around my DH and he told me to stop following him around...go figure. He didn't even notice I was gone and I was gon for an hour and a half!!!!
When I returned I refused to be there any longer, especially when I can go to my families home where we are ALL loved and no one is mistreated or ignored. So I told our ds to get his things so we can go and I was telling everyone (that would even talk, look at me) goodbye. Then MIL wants our son to go and get the eggs out of her yard...at that time. I feel she did this at that time because I was ready to go. He had done that hunt at least two hours before and she never asked him to get the eggs up. That really didn't bother me as he should have picked up the eggs before leaving, just wondered why she picked that time to tell him. Didn't say anything though. While he was picking up the eggs he was whinning and got a spanking. She took him in the house and babied him up right after he got a spanking. My DH and I walked in and saw it so I just told my son lets go and we left. I tried talking to her and she was very rude to me and my DH told me I was being disrespectful to her by calling her too! WTH...NO ONE will undermind me when it comes to my child. I have every right to address a situation that involves my son if I want to. She just didn't want me to say anything to her.
I told him that I was done with them and we were not going back until they accept us as a whole and not just everyone but me. So T-ball started and she started magically going to all of the practices.......just to talk about me. One day my son came home from practice and told me that his grandmother and his daddy were talking about me. I saw nothing but red honestly...I asked my husband about it and he tells me that his mother was just telling him all of the reasons that his family doesn't like me and all of the things that I have done to them. So I asked what did she say just to see. He told me some crazy stuff about people being mad at me because of somethings they made up about me 4 years ago. Really 4 years ago. They made this stuff up and now are mad at me for it!!! Among the other things she had to tell him he kept denying that she MIL had any problems with me.
I told him how can you say that when she is able to remember what people said about me 4 years ago and make sure she tell you. He denied everything about her and said that it was everyone else. Helloooooo, they would not be acting this way if your mother wasn't going to them telling them lies about me. So one day I was looking for a message that I sent him (just playing in his phone really) and I came across a message she sent him about me. She was telling him that I don't like his family and the invite to his party said it all. She really was talking about me to him and I could not believe he would allow her to call me names and say those things. Then he defended it by saying that she was mad because she can't see her grandson - a bunch of bull S****!!
To me there is no reason she should be allowed to talk bad about me to him. And to add to that she did it again Sunday. Sent him a message again talking about me and when I confronted him about it he just looked really dumb founded. The thing of it is that we had a heated argument last weekend and he said to me everything that she said in that text message. So that means that he was sitting there talking about me with her. Oh I forgot to say that he made plans to go to her home on Sunday (our family day) and never told me. He waited until it was our time and told me that he was going to his mothers. That is when he talked about me with her. Now I am sitting here with my heart outside of my body huting so bad because I never in a million years thought the my DH would be engaged in conversations about me with any one else...let alone his mother that he knows doesn't like me.
So I think we need to separate for a while so he can figure out who his family is. I can't continue to allow him to passivly dismiss any and everything his family does just because he can't deal with them. But to talk about me with them......unexplainable and not tolerable for me. Any advice would be great. Thanks for listening....I had to sum it all up because I could write for days/years