Gender Reveal (Party) Day of Our Wedding: Fair or Not
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|Wed, 10-09-2013 - 3:22am|
For about a year, my fiance and I planned our wedding - it is coming up. His nephew and wife, through the nephew's parents (whose dad is my fiance's brother and groomsment) informed us the day of our wedding, they are having a gender reveal party. In addition, they "should be done by one" and should make the 1-hour+ drive, get ready, and arrive at the reception hall (30 minutes away from their house) by 3 pm for pictures. The nephew is not in the wedding; however, as mentioned, his father is as is the younger brother of the new father/nephew.
Two years ago, when the nephew and wife got married, my fiance took care of his parents - whom his brother loves but feels is a burden. This included shclepping them back to the hotel, getting them situated, etc. Well, his brother and SIL agreed to do this for us, but when they called to tell us about the gender reveal brunch, which we are not invited to (not a big deal; I wouldn't expect it), they wanted to know what my future in-laws schedule for the day of the wedding is and how we plan to handle them as they can no longer handle the situation. Plus, while the SIL's mother (who will be the great-grandmother) is coming, the brother and (my) fiance's mom and dad were not invited.
I'm very happy for his nephew and wife; however, I am hurt they are doing this to us because it's just one day. My fiance thought it was wrong to "steal our thunder" the day of our wedding; he actually told my mother he was especially hurt, as he never asks for anything of his family and always helps them - and just wanted this one day. I'm a low-key person and every time we visit his nephew and wife, it's we did this or that. My fiance and I are very successful and don't brag; we prefer to live quietly and simply, but wanted our wedding to let us cast a loving light on our relationship, which we share only in small bits as private people.
Perhaps I wouldn't be as upset if she hadn't done something similar before - announcing the pregnancy the day before a beloved nephew's wedding. The reason was she was worried people would think she put on the weight she lost.
Am I being selfish for wanting just one special day for my fiance and me? How would you handle the situation?